Picture the scene. Me and three people (oh alright then, three cute babes) were out walking close to my apartment, when suddenly two Danish people stumble in from stage left.
The guy is basically a viking with a bare-shouldered t-shirt. The girl is a very sad specimen with lips five sizes too large for her face, a plastic orange tan and the beady eyes of a tabloid reader. Both of them are appallingly drunk.
The guy sees me (and hears me). He pauses in his stumbling long enough to say:
“Hey, why you talkin’ English? Where you from?”
“Ireland.”
Slight frown. “What you doin’ here?”
Shrug. “I live here.”
“Well.” Short pause. “Fuck off!”
And off they stumble, those veritable Oscar Wildes of the street, to that place where idiots go. Like a Catholic church. Or maybe even a golf course.
/ paddy
12 Comments
Been there, done that, etc, etc…
But I do think the ad for “Scientology – Fastest growing religion” looks a tad out of place on your blog, of all places. I take it you had nothing to do with that?
Eh? I don’t see any ads, even when logged out. How are you accessing the blog, directly or with some reader?
Mobile Safari. Hmmm, maybe there’s something uncle Steve isn’t telling us ;-)
@SirPe: Well, that makes ME very smug! Heh heh.
He has been a bit too “holier-than-thou” lately, hasn’t he? I mean “you’re holding it wrong”, come on, is he serious?
Ha, I LOOOVE your expression “beady eyes like a tabloid reader”. No more needs to be said – we know exactlywwhat you’ve seen. But lips TWO large? Is that poetry or just a misplaced w? (says the megapedantiste)
Um, that would be a typo…..
Fixed!
You had me with the picture of Wilde wearing the horns. Maybe it’s a running joke on your blog (therefore apology for being a newbie): but why was the Dane telling you to fuck off in Stockholm? They are claiming each other’s territory over there now?! What is this? Operation Protecting Blonde People?
More like operation really drunk idiot. The “fuck off” was just a reflex when he realised he had nothing else to say.
People are kind of retarded. Really. You should have called him something in a heavy irish dialect so he wouldn’t be able to make it out.
He was, unfortunately, twice my size, so no. I did scowl at him when he moved on though. A LOT.