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A Short Guide to Swedish Politics

04 Sep

Politics is only interesting when it’s happening somewhere else, like in Africa, or in a Fantasy novel. But when there is a general election raging, it’s just the most atrocious bore imaginable.

There is a general election brewing in Sweden now and you can’t walk through town for ten seconds without some intense idiot in an over-large t-shirt shoving leaflets at you. So this is probably a good time for a quick primer on Swedish Politics for all you foreigners, or for you Swedes who haven’t been paying attention.

There are two blocks in the running for this election, plus a scatter of smaller parties. The “Alliance” block, currently ruling, consists of the four governing parties – The Moderates, Centre Party, People’s Party and Christian Democrats. The “Empire” block – sorry, the “Red-Green” block – consists of the Left Party (socialists), the Social Democrats and the Greens. Damn, it would be fucking sweet if they WERE called the “Empire” and the “Alliance”. Why didn’t anybody think of that earlier?

The Moderate’s leader, and Sweden’s PM, is Fredrik Reinfeldt, a man who looks like a giant baby. Other politicians of note include the woman vying for his title, leader of the Social Democrats Mona Sahlin, a woman with a speaking voice so boring it could curdle milk and whose deepest, darkest secret is paying for candy on her government credit card.

The Greens, meanwhile, claim that they don’t have “leaders” and insist on rolling out two “spokespeople”, one male and one female, any time they appear on TV. The political correctness of that just makes me shiver and is one reason why, although I’d like to, I just can’t vote for the Greens. The other reason is that they are unrealistic new-age wimps in many issues. However, it must be admitted, their spokesperson Maria Wetterstrand is HOT.

Then we have the hated Christian Democrats. Hated by me, at least. These bozos have the nerve to call themselves “democrats” even though they clearly accept the infallibility and universal dominance of an all-powerful dictator who can never be voted out, will never die, and can do whatever the fucking fuck he feels like with no consequences. In what possible way can these people call themselves “democrats”? Loonies more like.

And they, like all the other parties, have the nerve to refuse to be in the same room as the far-right Swedish Democrats, even though their stance on “values” is actually very similar.

Shit, this is all giving me a headache. I hope it’s over soon. Can’t we just do a game-show where the politicos get put on some island and have to eat slugs and crawl through mud and get voted out until we pick the one who runs the country?

Yeah, let’s do it! Politician Island. Right now.

/ paddy

 
4 Comments

Posted by on September 4, 2010 in Society, Sweden

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

4 responses to “A Short Guide to Swedish Politics

  1. anaglyph

    September 4, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    Wow – I was completely unaware that Sweden has much of a religious lobby. I thought you guys had outgrown that. Now I’m really worried (and is it just me, or would anyone else describe that woman’s eyes as ‘beady’?)

     
    • paddyK

      September 5, 2010 at 6:33 am

      Not a “lobby” really, just a random scattering of idiots. They don’t get more than 6% of the vote, and I’m sure the government coalition would do without them if them could, since they ARE a bit of an embarrassment.

       
  2. Rolf

    September 4, 2010 at 10:45 pm

    Have you listened to their propaganda songs? The daily newspaper Metro asked its music expert to listen in to those songs. The results: The best song was the Moderates, getting the grade “Huh?” The Pirate Party’s song was described as “diaper punk that makes the music industry happy. When you’ve listened to this song you will never want to download any music again.”.

    Hmph! I’ll still vote Pirate in these elections!

    For those of you reading swedish, the link to all the grades and the names of the songs is http://www.metro.se/se/misc/pdf/2010-09-03/SEWEE_2010-09-03.pdf (Seems to be the entire newspaper for that day.) To listen, you might find the songs at the parties own websites.

     
    • paddyK

      September 5, 2010 at 6:34 am

      I think I’ll spare myself the torture, Rolf. I can’t imagine a worse thing than political pop songs.

       

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