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The Last Catholic Rant

12 Oct

This blog post may contain traces of religious ranting. You have been warned.

So, I promised myself a while ago to not do any more rants about religion. Because, let’s face it, listening to somebody rant constantly about religion is about as interesting as watching already dried paint dry some more. And so unless organised religion directly impacts upon my life in some way, or tries to fuck with the rule of law and human rights, I will let it slide by as the troubling and incoherent fairy story that it is.

But now, alas, it has pissed me off again. According to the Irish Times, the Catholic Church has made “changes to the Code of Canon Law” in order to remove all traces of the act of defection. This, you may recall, is the procedure I went through a few months back to divorce myself from the robed loonies who ran my childhood. And now it appears that the same church is trying to kill even this option to staunch the flow of people officially leaving its ranks.

Fig 1: Scary men in dresses

To quote the article: “the Archdiocese of Dublin said following the recent changes to canon law it will no longer be possible for individuals to formally defect from the church. However, it added that the Archdiocese intends to maintain a register to note the expressed desire of those who wish to defect.”

So they put us on a list. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Slap on the back for you, sir.

This makes me so incensed that I don’t know where to start, or finish, or even middle. So I’ll put it succinctly and let you get back to your tea. The Catholic Church forces parents by guilt and “tradition” to sign their newborn babies up to an organisation without their consent, and then suddenly change the fucking rules so that they can never leave? NEVER? And this is accepted behaviour in the modern world?

I’m glad as fuck I got out before the gates clanged shut, and I hope that somebody, somewhere, takes these self-important sons of bitches to court and fleeces them alive. Because, you know what Mr. Ratzinger, you and your dress-wearing ring-kissing turds suck donkey dick, every last one of you.

So I’ll see you in hell. I hear they have a good library. And hot babes.

/ paddy

 
20 Comments

Posted by on October 12, 2010 in Ranting, Religion, Society

 

Tags: , , ,

20 responses to “The Last Catholic Rant

  1. Sean Mulroy

    October 12, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    That was quick!!!
    Friends of mine invited me to their kids Christening. You know the type. Dont really do anything Catholic other than ticking the fucking census box under “Catholic” every few years. I was going to go cos, well, i like them and their kid and there will be free food in it for me. But now I’ve decided that not only will I try to talk them out of it I shall fore go my free dinner on a point of principal!!!

     
    • paddyK

      October 12, 2010 at 8:21 pm

      Do it! They’ll roll their eyes but the point needs to be made.

       
      • Sean Mulroy

        October 13, 2010 at 1:13 pm

        I was talking to them last night, other wise intelligent people and they just replied “well were suckers for tradition”.

         
  2. Wynn

    October 12, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    They’re certifiable. I don’t know what to add really.

     
    • paddyK

      October 12, 2010 at 8:22 pm

      Certifiable. With dresses.

       
  3. Smilla

    October 12, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    Er…CAN anybody do that at all? Form an organization you can’t leave, I mean. Sounds crazy.

     
    • paddyK

      October 12, 2010 at 8:22 pm

      You realise that this is the Catholic Church we are talking about here…? Crazy doesn’t even begin to cover it.

       
      • Smilla

        October 14, 2010 at 2:28 pm

        Sure, the “crazy” part I get. I’m worried about the “legal” part.

         
  4. Kaia

    October 12, 2010 at 10:24 pm

    I love that no matter how much profanity I use, I can always go here and find somebody who’s worse.

    Or is that better? I think, in this situation, definitely better.

     
    • paddyK

      October 12, 2010 at 10:33 pm

      That’s the nicest thing anybody has ever said! I’m all tearful…

       
  5. DrDan

    October 13, 2010 at 1:22 am

    Man, I love that photo, you can almost here the Darth Vader refrain when you look at it!

    daa da dada da dada da dada…….

     
    • paddyK

      October 13, 2010 at 7:11 am

      I’d love to meet the guy who did the stage design.

       
  6. anaglyph

    October 13, 2010 at 3:14 am

    Hahahha! That’s a joke right? You CAN’T EVER LEAVE the Catholic Church because they say so? There’s a way to keep your numbers looking good on the books.

    That makes me so fucking angry – just the sheer ILLOGICALITY of it. Jeez, it makes me wish I was a Catholic so I could shove it right up ‘em.

     
    • paddyK

      October 13, 2010 at 7:11 am

      Apparently you can still desecrate a host or fuck a bishop, or something. There’s always a way.

       
  7. anaglyph

    October 13, 2010 at 3:16 am

    In fact, it’s like the tag line for a bad horror film: Once you’re in, YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE

     
    • paddyK

      October 13, 2010 at 7:12 am

      You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

       
  8. Glen Gordon

    October 15, 2010 at 5:35 am

    Last Catholic rant? Pish posh. No one believes you, my good sir. Religion is positively ENTERTAINING to rip on. Irrational faith asks, nay, begs intelligent rude people to ridicule it. And contrary to what you may have heard, there are some circles that thrive on the blasphemy. Just count your Catholic blessings that you didn’t grow up Jehovah’s Witness.

    Btw, that picture of Pope and Friends seated before what seems to me to be a gigantic demonic DEATH BUSH of intertwined human skeletons is priceless and fitting.

    Finally, don’t feel bad that the Church is making so many bad decisions. Have faith in evolution. In 500 years, people won’t even know or care who Jesus is and then there will be peace on earth. Yay! :o)

     
    • paddyK

      October 15, 2010 at 9:44 am

      Or somebody will clone the bugger and make him king.

       
      • Glen Gordon

        October 16, 2010 at 2:09 am

        Eek! I need a stiff drink.

         
  9. DrDan

    October 16, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    Just remember to come home and vote for David Norris when the presidential elections roll round – an openly gay president should really piss the god squad right off!

     

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