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The Golden Shower Solution

14 Dec

Goodness me, is that the time? Three weeks since my last blog entry? I think my brain is entering some kind of hibernation period. It’s the weather, I say. Perhaps a catastrophic lack of tea and biscuits. Or maybe I’m just in need of a good, hard, proper… oh yeah, my family might be reading… bugger… urm, a good hard proper… crossword…

But alright, for your titillation allow me to present a story from that shit-house of a newspaper, Sweden’s Aftonbladet. The title? “Cold-weather expert says to piss on the tongue”, which pretty much sums it up. You see, this ex-army no-nonsense dude suggests that when the wee ones do what wee ones do and get their tongues stuck to metal poles in winter, that the only solution is to produce the old fleshy hose-pipe and piss on them.

Now I’m not saying it doesn’t work but I am pretty sure that, along with me, everybody out there shudders when they read this. And now I have a permanent image of the old chap popping open his fly with a grim look about him, turning to the tongue-stretchy kid and saying – “Hold on there now Timmy, this won’t hurt a bit. Wait… wait… hang on… ah there we go, better in than out, eh lad?”

And yes, I know I should be talking about serious things like suicide bombers and whistle-blowers but fuck it. That shit’s far too depressing. So if you want some good old-fashioned and non-lethal pee humour in these dark times, you know where to come, and keep on coming… oh crap, wait…

/ paddy

 
9 Comments

Posted by on December 14, 2010 in Media

 

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9 responses to “The Golden Shower Solution

  1. OR Melling

    December 15, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    God, I thought you’d gone over to Facebook or something. And come on, we want to know what YOU think of the Swedes and Julian Assange and this bizarre turn of events which sees Sweden’s world presence as a modern, sexually permissive, politically radical state transformed into laughing-stock right-wing American poodle.

     
    • paddyK

      December 17, 2010 at 11:11 am

      I’ll try and blog that shortly. Sweden co-operates with the US, that much is clear from some WIkileaks documents. And all governments are lying, self-serving bastards, so it’s hardly a surprise, is it? Very bad for Sweden’s image though, to openly suck America’s cock like that.

       
  2. Ida Bergstrom

    December 16, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    Have you ever been pissed on? If yes, can you give details, i.e. where did it happen, who was it that pissed on you etc. and then say whether you enjoyed it.

     
    • paddyK

      December 17, 2010 at 11:12 am

      Add me on Facebook, and I’ll send you the vids….

       
  3. Elizabeth

    December 16, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    I agree with OR Melling: Get your mind off of that crossword, and start writing!

     
    • paddyK

      December 17, 2010 at 11:13 am

      Only if I can use lots of swear words.

       
  4. Elizabeth

    December 17, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    By all means! I myself find blasphemic swearing often especially satisfying. :)

     
  5. Glen Gordon

    December 22, 2010 at 5:24 am

    As always, your fluid eloquence fills us with warmth just before the celebrated birth of our dear baby Jesus. Hahaha. <:O Aaaah…

     
    • paddyK

      December 24, 2010 at 1:16 am

      Thanks, I pride myself on my fluids.

       

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