I think we’ll just skip the whole “oh it’s been a while”, shall we? And it’ll probably be a while until the next one too, so get used to it.
Anyway, I simply had to inform you all (all 7 of you, at this rate) of a miraculous happening in my bathroom. After my Halloween party last weekend (and yes, it was awesome) I spotted a stain on the bathroom floor. Some combination of wine and grime, I assumed, and thought no more about it.
But last night, while sitting nearby in a contemplative mood, I looked at the stain and realised that it was more than a stain. It was, in fact, a sign. A miracle, if I may be so bold. See for yourself:
Praise be the bathroom floor tile cruciform! (Hereby know as the BFTC). But what does it mean? Has God blessed my party? Is he telling me to stop drinking wine, at least off the floor? Is he saying I should have more parties, to the glory of his name? Or is he telling me to drop everything, disarm my penis and charge, whimpering and lamenting, for the nearest monastery?
I don’t know what it means, but clearly it means something. I mean, random images cannot just appear at random, can they? What kind of universe would that be?
In the meantime, I’m waiting for the BFTC pilgrims to arrive. And if anybody wants to buy my floor on eBay, I’m ready to deal.