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The Chairs At The End Of The Universe

01 Jul

I have, for a week now, being trying to sell some chairs.

I bought these chairs in a second-hand shop a couple of years back. They’re nice and antique-looking, but I always thought they were too soft. So, with an apartment move coming up soon, I decided to get rid of them and placed an ad. Can’t be so difficult, I thought. I’ll just make them cheap, I thought. Some nice person will take them, I thought.

Well. No. Getting rid of four nice chairs for the paltry sum of 25 euros isn’t as easy as it might sound. I put the ad in last Saturday and the madness began immediately.

I had about 6 people contact me. Person 1 and 2 were interested, but not really THAT interested. Person 2 sounded most interested. She asked me if the chairs were in bad shape and needed to be fixed up. I said no. All was well until she revealed that she wanted me to drop them to her in my car. I don’t have a car, I said. I suggested she take a taxi. She said she’d get back to me.

Then person 4 expressed real interest. However, we couldn’t decide a day and time for her to come by and see them. Monday afternoon, she said. I work, I said. Okay then, Tuesday  afternoon. I work, I repeated. Okay, how about another afternoon? I WORK, I pointed out. I have a JOB to go to, which I may not leave until sufficient work had been done. Oh, she said. My brother is coming to get them with me. And he works nights.

Eventually we settled on Wednesday morning, as I’d anyway be home waiting for an official of my landlord to come by, which might happen at any time between 9.15 and 11.45. (More about that in a future post.) At 9:00 Wednesday morning I texted her to ask what time she’d arrive. No reply. At 10:00 I texted again, to say I was leaving shortly. No reply. I went to work and sent her a text calling her a lazy selfish idiot.

No reply.

Person 2 returned from the dead on Thursday and asked me again if the chairs needed to be fixed up. I said no, and anyway it’s all in the ad. Plus photos. She went away.

Next person, number 5, showed interest and wanted to come on Sunday. She suggested three. I said no. I suggested noon. She couldn’t come then. She was going to the gym. I suggested the evening. She didn’t reply. I mailed her twice on Saturday. She didn’t reply.

On Saturday person 2 texted me again. She asked if the chairs were still available. I said yes. She asked me where they were, information which is in my ad. I told her. I asked her if was really interested. She didn’t reply until four hours later, when she said: “Sorry, but I don’t remember what you had … hahaha”.

“Chairs,” I said. “You texted me four hours ago. Do you want them?”

No word until nine this morning. Her reply? “Do the chairs need to be fixed up…?”

At this point I told her I can’t fucking be arsed for 25 Euro if she can’t fucking remember anything I tell her. I’ll just throw them out. Goodbye.

To summarise: What the fuck is wrong with people? Can’t they decide what they want? Can’t they keep a promise? Can’t they show up when they are supposed to and, if not, let me know so I don’t wait for them? What the fuck is this, a sitcom?

I’ve learned my lessons though. In the future, if I sell chairs (or anything) online, I’ll ask for a lot more money. And filter out some of the crazies immediately.

Or just skip it all and set them free in the woods.

/ paddy

 
4 Comments

Posted by on July 1, 2012 in Idiots, Life

 

Tags: , , ,

4 responses to “The Chairs At The End Of The Universe

  1. jophan

    July 1, 2012 at 11:37 am

    I think Blocket (and similar sites) is a parallel universe populated with a genetically modified species. Or, if you want the sociological and boring explanation, a subculture that has developed a mindset and ethics of its own.

     
    • paddyK

      July 1, 2012 at 11:42 am

      Occasionally it goes fine on Blocket. But half the time it’s just freak junction. And the less you ask for, the harder it gets, as then more freaks appear.

       
  2. Martin R

    July 7, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    You started blogging again you bugga, and didn’t tell me! Your feed’s been sitting in my lo-freq folder for ages. Now it’s back in the main where it belongs.

     
    • paddyK

      July 9, 2012 at 1:24 pm

      And welcome back!

       

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