Top 5 Things about Christmas in Sweden

5. The food. A hundred different kinds of cheese. How much cheese do you need? When people had little to eat – you know, back in the fifties – then eating a lot at once was a rare and special thing. But now we can stuff our faces whenever we feel like it, so why is eating until we topple over so interesting? Everybody should celebrate Christmas with a refreshing walk in the hills, eating dry biscuits and snowmelt. That’s the way to toughen up the kids!

4. The presents. Everybody sits in a circle and painstakingly opens presents, one by one by one, and nods in appreciation as every bloody bees-wax candle and copy of The Da-Vinci Code and Enya CD is revealed. Please, poison me now.

3. The weather – Well the weather, at least, is good. Dark and cold and possibly snowy. Not bad, three points out of five on the weather. Keep it up.

2. The snaps-songs. At dinner everybody drinks small glasses of foul-tasting snaps, along with cute little songs that make everybody feel less guilty about getting pissed. – Oh look, we’re only drinking because we are social and like singing so much. Yeah, right.

1. The bloody cartoon. At 15:00 Sweden comes to a standstill while everybody turns on the TV and watches a Disney Christmas special from the middle ages. The odd thing is – it is ALWAYS THE SAME! Every year, since the dawn of time, the SAME bloody cartoon. And at the end there is a five-minute slot where Disney show ads for upcoming movies – and EVERYBODY WATCHES THIS TOO! The result – one hour of free advertising for Disney to the whole Swedish population. And I wonder how much the TV channel gets paid for this. A million dollars? At the very least. How nice to have a tradition that the TV company can cash in on…

/ paddy

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6 thoughts on “Top 5 Things about Christmas in Sweden

  1. I was googling “hasch” one day when news came by telephone that my husband’s nephew started doing bad things like smoking hasch and cigarettes. And that was when I found Paddy K Swedish Extravaganza – I’ve been hooked ever since.

    A couple of weeks ago, my husband asked “is that that guy that you love again?” as I read to him one of your posts. I’m not IN love with you, but I might just have a crush on your thoughts and the humor of your words. If I had to pick a favorite post, it would have to be “How to Stuff Soft Things” ..or something similarly entitled; both hubby and I laughed quite loud to this one.

    My husband’s Swedish and he complains much about the U.S. now that he lives here. It always feels like a comparison between the most evil country in the world and the most glorious kingdom on earth. I guess that’s why it’s refreshing to read your opinions on some things that can be annoying in Sweden–from someone who does live in Sweden these days.

    I read your almost two years of blogging this past month. I’d check for new posts every day, but I would be disappointed since you’re not writing them as much as I’m reading them. You’re my eyes and ears over there in Sweden, and I look forward to reading your many more postings to come.

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