Getting A Little Pussy

I have 2 cats. Well, they are my girlfriend’s but they live with me (as does my girlfriend) because I am so nice and a great cook. And here’s what I have learned about pussy cats:

– They call you when they want food
– They call you when they are bored
– If you don’t clean their toilet then they shit all over your nice rug

And not much else. Cats are mysterious, they keep to themelves, and even when they appear to do nothing all day, they still have a life. They put up with me because I know where the food is, but otherwise they see me as a hindrance to their exciting lifestyle.

I was at a Neil Gaiman reading once and he explained that, as as wrote, his pets sometimes watched. He tried to imagine what they were thinking as they stared at him. The dog was thinking “I love you, I love you, I love you…”; the cat was thinking “Are you stupid? You don’t use a colon there, that’s a conditional clause, you moron.”

/ paddy

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