Sport. Is there anything as pointless, anything that sucks up so much time and money and effort, as sport? Is there anything this fills more hours on TV and pages in newspapers than the deranged babbling of sports-people and “professional” commentators?
Sport is pointless. Let me repeat that – pointless. And what’s more, sport is not news. If two teams come together in a game, then we can be fairly sure that one of them will win. This is not news, people. Even if it is a tie, it is still NOT NEWS! It is manufactured trite. It is suck-money-from-the-stupid-people manipulation. But news it is most definitely not.
I just watched some Swede on the news ski past a finish line, while some announcers were practically having a crap live on TV. “She’s going to do it! Oh my God, it’s amazing! Unbelievable! Who would thought that-”
Unbelievable is actually the word I would use. Unbelievable that people consider this to be interesting; that people think it matters. Let me clear it up – it doesn’t matter! It makes no fucking difference if one gang of idiots beat another gang of idiots at some ridiculous game. It matters not a whit how many hundredths of a second some guy ran faster than some other guy. The world will keep turning no matter if some millionaire teenagers can put a ball past another millionaire teenager or not. Sport is pointless, sad and idiotic – it is trivia completely out of control.
And please God – I’m on my knees, here! – please let me never see another sport “star” being interviewed on TV. God those people are dull, and I mean DULL. “Yeah, it was a tough game/race/bout, but we kept it up, and we trained hard, and we kept going, and we did it in the end!” These are the same assholes who beat us up at school, took all the good chicks, and got moustaches while the rest of us were counting pubic hairs. They are stupid, and evil, and they must be stopped.
So please, give me real news – earthquakes, riots, collapsing buildings, whatever, I’m not fussy – and not one more jaunty git with a wide tie pouring out moronic “facts” in an determined effort to bury us all in idiocy, while keeping himself on the TV and increasing his chances of getting something wet and succulent on the weekend.