Heaven and Hell

Why is it that the more crap the music, the louder my neighbours insist on playing it? You never hear anybody from next door playing “The Queen is Dead” at 2 in the morning, or some Belle and Sebastian bellowing out of an open window. And the people that drive by with the thumping bass – what are the odds they are spinning a little Tom Waits or Nick Drake?

No, if the music is loud – and I mean LOUD – it always fits into one of the following categories:

– Bottom-of-the-barrell world / folk music (usually something South-America inspired)
– Hip-hop of the shit commercial sort
– Unberable old-man-rock-and-roll (Santana and the like)

And for those gentlemen with their 5MW car steroes, I would suggest a bit of Europe, or some more of the shit hip-hop mentioned above, or even a lump of puke-inducing German techno-pop.

Not that I have anything against South-American music (not much, anyway) – except for those fantastically dire guys dressed us an American Indians who hang out on the streets of Stockholm and play brain-numbing new-age bollox with amplified pan-pipes and backing tapes, along with dry-ice smoke for ambiance. When I see those guys, I get suddenly religious, and hope with all my might that there is a hell, and that they go there and I do not. Well actually, I don’t care which afterlife direction I take – up or down – so long as there are no pan-pipes there. And please, PLEASE – no Eminem.

/ paddy

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