Silent Letters

I love it when the Swedes take English words and twist them into their own. They are particularly fond of our swear words – it is rare indeed to not hear the words “fuck” and “shit” in the underground on the way to work of a bright summer morning.

But what they are best at is taking words and using them in slightly the wrong way. My current favourite, that makes me angry every time I see it, is “muffin.” The Swedes have decided that the singular form of the plural word “muffins” is…muffins! Yes indeed, it is two muffins, it is twenty-seven muffins, but it is also one muffins.

Is it too hard to follow the basic and logical rules of English when you steal a word? “S” means plural-more than one thing. It is one DOG, but two dogs; one woman but two WOMEN; one computer mouse, but two computer mouses…or hang on, is it mice..and then there was fish…?

Anyway, I refuse to walk into a shop and ask for one “muffins”. This can be accomplished by always buying at least two, or by pointing, or by saying it the proper way (muffin! MUFFIN!) and having the person in the cafe stare at me as if I were a foreigner, which I still think I am, but just barely.

/ paddy


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