It is summertime in the wonderful world of Stockholm Local Transport (SL), which means that the trains do not run as expected. On my line all of last week the trains ran only half as often, with a ten minute wait in the middle, and for this service we continued to pay the same fee as normal on the monthly travel card, despite getting home at the speed of a dying camel.
As you would expect, I decided to do something about it.
So, in a drunken half-stupor on Monday evening, while waiting for the connection train at 10 at night, I encounter a sign which informed me that I was to take the train home on the platform on which I was standing. Unfortunately, there was no sign on the other platform, where the train had just dropped us off, and where the train home usually went from, and no personnel to inform us of this change that might have stranded us in the middle of nowhere if we had not known about it.
So, as you do, I took out a pen and defaced the sign, writing in neat letters “SL suger kuk”, which translates as “SL sucks dick”. Pleased with my handiwork I went back to waiting when a man, 50-ish and annoyed looking, stepped up and flashed an SL ID-card at me.
“Did you do that? You know we can call the cops if you deface our property,” said this nice fellow with a sneer. I was about to pull the old “me no speaky Swedish language” routine, which usually gets me away with everything in this country, when I realised that I had just defaced the sign in Swedish…oops.
So I admitted my crime, and he dragged me back to the sign and made me take out my pen and erase the last word. Just the last word, mind you–he was quite happy to admit that SL sucked, but had not quite made up his mind what they sucked, exactly.
So now we can all sleep safer at night, knowing that I am out there somewhere, bravely insulting officials and defacing public property with inane comments, making the city a brighter and safer place for all.
You’ll thank me one day.