I bought a telephone. It had a camera. This was good, I thought. Now I can take pictures of stuff and show them to people. It will make me popular and attractive. But there was one problem – how do I get the pictures off the phone and into my computer?
Figure 1: Plaything of the devil
Nokia are happy to sell me a telephone capable of taking digital pictures but give me no simple way of transferring the little fuckers to my computer. You think this would be a no-brainer, but it has become a cornerstone of frustration in my life.
I could download the Nokia PC suite and use infrared to do the deed…except that my computer has no infrared. My old PC has infrared but is too old to run the new version of Nokia PC Suite…naturally.
Ok, I could use the handy USB cable that Nokia thoughtfully included in the box…except that they didn’t. Such a cable exists but it is viewed as an “extra” and costs 50 Euro. 50 fucking Euro!!! I bought a pirate Chinese-made cable on eBay for 5 Euro…and of course that didn’t work. Note to self: stop buying pirate crap on eBay.
I could always mail the photos to myself from the camera as MMS, but this costs about one Euro for 3 photos, and while I happily blow 4 or 5 Euro on a Guinness, there is no way I am paying the same amount to manually transfer a bunch of photos from one piece of hardware to another.
So why is it so fucking problematic? I’ll tell you why – Nokia are assholes. I was once involved in a software project with them and they were the tightest, cheapest company you could imagine, demanding everything but not prepared to pay for it. Unfortunately my current telephone is extremely cool-looking and my fingers have been programmed to do SMS on the Nokia system and no other. So I’m stuck with the clever Finns for the moment.
However there is a bright side – my phone is now a year old now and with the new Ericsson Walkman phones coming out with MP3 players, I think it might be time to junk the old hardware (12 months is old, right? Right..?) and jump the fence to orange fiddly joystick land.
Figure 2: Orange fiddly joystick land
Viva Ericsson! And their phones are not at all crappy and difficult to use…no sir! In fact they are just lovely. Really really nice. And how many more nice things do I need to say before I get one free..? Just a little one, for Christmas?
Note: Why is nobody leaving any comments these days? Is it something I said? Am I not being controversial enough? Should I swear some more? Here we go: fuck! Shit!! Fredrik Reinfeldt!!! Come on people, acknowledge me!