What I hate today…

God how I fucking despise PDF. I can not imagine a file format that I could ever hate more.

At first glance it looks like a good idea: a file that always has print-quality regardless of the system. Hurrah! But now as soon as I see a PDF start up, I groan and bang my head on the table.


Figure 1: You get the point (idea stolen from here)

First it has to load all its various plug-ins and bits, which can take 30 seconds on a bad day. Then it avoids the standard windows editing rules – you have to pick out a special tool to select text, for example, and can’t freely resize the content. You can’t edit anything without a special (expensive) program, and you can’t view it in a natural way. And as for increasing the text size…forget it. And then the fucking things crash every half hour. If you have 3 PDFs open in a web browser then you can be guaranteed that one of them will crash. And not only crash, but they will crash the OTHER PDFs and also your browser, shutting down all your windows in one fell swoop.

Now if I search on Google and find a link to a PDF, I feel a chill hand grasp my heart. And if I click on a train timetable or an information page and find the dreaded yellow running dude pop up and start loading all his shit, I feel like sticking my fingers down my throat or sending a firebomb to the company. PDF bites ass – it should be offered as an alternative form of information on a webpage, but should NOT be the only version of that information. Never.

And finally, let’s apply the “sucks” test – I get about 1,180,000 hits for “PDF sucks” on Google. Not good news at all – any suck count over 20,000 suggests severe sucking indeed.

And so the final mystery: what does PDF really stand for? Here’s my suggestion:

  • Pussy Dick Format
  • Piss Dripping File
  • Perfectly Fucked-up Data

Take your pick…

/ paddy

One thought on “What I hate today…

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