Oral Addiction

I am surrounded by addicts in this country. Most of them can’t leave their houses without having three of four hits in their bags. They shoot up on the metro, in work, in cafes, in public toilets…even the school kids are not excluded. I am surrounded by a whole nation that goes twitchy if it does not get its substance of choice every hour of every day.

The substance in question is, of course, lip-balm. And it is not just a Swedish problem – this pernicious lip-balm addiction exists everywhere. Hard-core addicts find themselves applying lip-balm all day, every day, even in high summer. Once you start using lip-balm – just as an experiment, just to see – you find yourself on a slippery slope, with little hope of escape.

The problem is that your lips get used to it, and soon they demand it. Something in this diabolical substance takes away your lips own natural defences, and after a short while you cannot do without the stuff. If you stop using it for even a while then your lips will be instantly in worse condition than if you never used it at all, and so the need goes on.

lip_balm_junkie.jpg

Figure: The face (and hat) of addiction

I never use the stuff, winter or summer, and my lips are always soft, plump and kissable. Sure they can get dry and a bit chapped, but I know that they can handle this much better by themselves than with chemical assistance. Millions of years of evolution will do that; your body is smarter than you are, and don’t forget it.

There is little help available for the hard-core lip-balm addict. The only approach is cold turkey – just stop using. For a few days, your lips will be in terrible shape, but you must resist! And don’t you lick them either, because spit makes them worse. Just leave them to suffer and crack and in a few days the worst will be over. Then you may claim your prize – a lifetime of perfect lips, fit for any weather, and freedom from the only addictive drug in the world that comes in cherry, honey or natural flavours.

A helpful links for the addicts: Lip-balm anonymous

/ paddy (your light in the darkness)

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3 thoughts on “Oral Addiction

  1. Oral addiction. I can attest that i have succumb to oral lubrication addiction a few times in my life. I find it takes hold of me during a seasonal change specifically summer to fall and fall to winter.

    I usually get the accompanying cole sore which only makes my lips crack and bleed when I smile or eat food. ;)

    I have found the only oil that works and doesn’t cause addiction for me is using plain ‘ole petrolium jelly. Another good cheap alternative is to use vegetable shortening. May sound weird but they both work generally in moderation of course.

    *love the photo!

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