Well I needed some hits, so what else was I supposed to do? Write some news, or a thought-provoking article on cabbage, or comment on this or that aspect of modern life? Or just start talking about my dick? Well that’s a no-brainer: dick = hits and don’t you forget it mister!
So I spent a good part of my life with the suspicion that my todger was too small. It’s easy to imagine this when you never get to see another one. For women and their breasts it’s a bit more clear-cut: although breasts can be fluffed up with the right undergarments, it is not that difficult to see how yours compare to everybody else’s. But getting a look at another man’s erect member is a difficult job indeed. And for a shy, straight country boy, without the advantage of a public-school education and the buggery involved, it is practically impossible.
The average woman has seen vastly more erect penises that the average man. We get to see only one in detail, and usually from a non-flattering angle. So we gaze at other men and wonder – how does mine measure up? And although everyone says “It’s not how big it is, it’s what you do with it”, we all know this is just some rubbish made up by men with little peanuts. Let us apply the same logic to, say, the world’s tallest building, and see how far that gets us.
So we are reduced to peeking at articles in our girlfriend’s Cosmo, or searching for “penis” on the Internet with one hand poised ready to clear the browsing history before the missus gets home. And now and again we stumble across those articles and surveys disclosing the size of the nation’s collective knob.
Now, I suspect these may not be so reliable simply because, in most of these surveys, they just ASK the men how big their dicks are. I mean, come on! You think that is going to give you any honest answers? And anyway, it’s impossible to know how to measure it properly. A good deal of the dick is under the surface of the skin, and if you pull it out a bit before applying the tape-measure, you can normally squeeze out another inch or two.
Penis measuring is a science in itself, as you can see by searching on Google for “How to measure your penis”. (Warning: do NOT go to Google and search for “How to measure your penis” unless you want to stumble into a deeply unsettling, neon-light-blinking part of the Internet.) However, with one eye closed, I eventually found a good survey with lots of sober tables and information, and even a few dick pictures thrown in: http://www.sizesurvey.com/result.html
And so to the climax (heh heh) of this little article. Armed only with a tape measure and a dopey smile I have found the length of my erect member to be 152mm, give or take a push or a shove. This puts me somewhere less than average on the penile dimension scale. But, then again, it’s not how big it is, it’s where you put your stapler that matters. Or something like that…
/ paddy (laying it on the line…heh heh…)