Figure 1: A very small picture shown twice just for effect
Once upon a time there was a little village just a tad north of Uppsala with the delightful name of…Fjuckby. Now in this happy little town lived fifty people and one day fifteen of them became tired of all the foreigners laughing at them and their property value sliding and so applied to change the name of the town to something more palatable.
Like Cockswank…or Pussymeadow…or – heh heh – Big Hanging Donkey Boll—
Well anyway they wanted the new name to be “Fjukeby” which they claim was an ancient name for the area. Hmmm…not much of an improvement really…instead of sounding like “fuck” and the Swedish “juck” (which mean about the same thing) let us instead remind our visitors of both “fuck” and “puke” in one handy package. Useful!
So the Swedish “Institutet för språk och folkminnen” (The National Heritage Board) decided they were on shaky ground and forbade the name change. 15 citizens does not a name change make, it seems.
What I find strange is why they don’t just use their unusual name to their advantage – print up t-shirts with “I left my heart in Fjuckby” or “Fjuckby and leave me”. Or start some kind of festival, perhaps for dildos. The Fjuckby Annual Didlo Carnival! I know I’d be there, with my “Fjucking beautiful” baseball cap turned at a jaunty angle.
And, while on the subject, in advertisements in Swedish newspapers dildos are often referred to discreetly as “massage stavar” or “massage rods”. Isn’t that just a bit odd?