Fjuck me…


Figure 1: A very small picture shown twice just for effect

Once upon a time there was a little village just a tad north of Uppsala with the delightful name of…Fjuckby. Now in this happy little town lived fifty people and one day fifteen of them became tired of all the foreigners laughing at them and their property value sliding and so applied to change the name of the town to something more palatable.

Like Cockswank…or Pussymeadow…or – heh heh – Big Hanging Donkey Boll—

Well anyway they wanted the new name to be “Fjukeby” which they claim was an ancient name for the area. Hmmm…not much of an improvement really…instead of sounding like “fuck” and the Swedish “juck” (which mean about the same thing) let us instead remind our visitors of both “fuck” and “puke” in one handy package. Useful!

So the Swedish “Institutet för språk och folkminnen” (The National Heritage Board) decided they were on shaky ground and forbade the name change. 15 citizens does not a name change make, it seems.

What I find strange is why they don’t just use their unusual name to their advantage – print up t-shirts with “I left my heart in Fjuckby” or “Fjuckby and leave me”. Or start some kind of festival, perhaps for dildos. The Fjuckby Annual Didlo Carnival! I know I’d be there, with my “Fjucking beautiful” baseball cap turned at a jaunty angle.

And, while on the subject, in advertisements in Swedish newspapers dildos are often referred to discreetly as “massage stavar” or “massage rods”. Isn’t that just a bit odd?

Read more about Fjuckby in English here or in the heathen local language here. You choose, it’s your soul.

/ pjadby

5 thoughts on “Fjuck me…

  1. Two signs in Sweden gave me great joy. One was the as you drove south and east towards Uppsala which had been ammend to read Tuppsala. The other is the sign to the left of the road and rail links from Stockholm to Arlanda which flicks through time, temperature and humidity.

    Temp, it says. -15, (or what ever it is).
    Tid 13:13
    Fukt 73%

    A useful statistic to know about the country you are leaving.

  2. I’d like and alarm clock with that on it – it could be the deciding factor on whether it was worth getting out of bed in the morning
    Dan (currently 82% Fukt)

  3. Well at least you have something to discuss with your neighbour on the plane: “There’s quite a lot of fukt in Sweden, don’t you think..?”

    Aphra: You seem to know a lot of secret swedish information. Have you lived here at some stage?

  4. Yerp. Off and on, (far more off than on), between 2000 and 2003. I don’t speak Swedish or even read it, but I did work in Sweden and hung out there a bit.

    Very clean. Sweden.

    I think DrDan is right. An alarm clock showing how fukt the day is going to be would be very very useful.


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