Chocolate chickens of the Lord

I never can get the hang of 4-day weekends. From Friday until now I have been to the movies, bought paint, downloaded Battlestar Galactica season 3, applied the paint to a wall, watched Battlestar Galactica season 3, had several hundred baths, done some writing, snuggled with girlfriend, eaten Easter eggs and it’s still only Sunday evening.

egg_of_christ.pngWhat exactly is one supposed to DO with all this free time? Wouldn’t it make more sense to spread Easter out over a couple of weekends instead of splurging all at once? And what is the bloody point of Easter anyway; can anybody explain that to me? Eggs, feathers, chickens, chocolate, Jesus, full moon…just what IS the mysterious connection here?

I was taught in school that Easter celebrates the death of Jesus – hah, we got the bastard at last! Oh hang on, not his death, but his resuscitation. Yes he died just to make a point, and then came back, to completely remove all doubt that he was God, and therefore removed the need for Faith, and with it the cornerstone of the whole fucking circus, since he quite obviously WAS God if he could rise from the dead, and then faith was extraneous. Again, what am I missing here..?

Of course the most interesting thing with Easter was that the exact day was calculated from a confusing algorithm involving the sun and moon and the Pope’s arse, and this gave the Church a reason to exist. Because, if the Church did not exist, then how would we know it was Easter? Simple, you morons, just look out for all the chickens in the shops. Here, for your information, it is: “Easter falls on the first Sunday following the first ecclesiastical full moon that occurs on or after March 21 (the day of the ecclesiastical vernal equinox) regardless of the Pope’s arse.”

It also marks the end of Lent, which nobody takes seriously any more. And I suppose the eggs and chocolate were a connection to the splurging that would occur after the mean self-imposed torment of Lent.

In Sweden they have more self-imposed torment – hollow cardboard eggs filled with boring sweets. In the civilized world, of course, we have real chocolate eggs with which you can stuff yourself silly.

And then we have Easter Monday, the day on which we recover from having done nothing for 3 days. Well I’ve had just about enough of this – I’m moving to a secular country where I can escape all this crap, a secular country like, say, Sweden…oh…right…bugger.

/ paddy

9 thoughts on “Chocolate chickens of the Lord

  1. “And what is the bloody point of Easter anyway; can anybody explain that to me?”

    Its the bunny. You forgot to mention the Easter bunny. QED.

  2. I love ‘The Egg of Christ’. Brilliant.

    Does that mean there is a Fatwah on you now?

  3. Easter is just another festival originally celebrated by pagans and hi-jacked by the Christians who now claim it as their own. T’is the same with Christmas. Sigh.

    Funny post.

  4. Jesusfreaktoo: Yes I forgot the bunny – I don’t like to think about the bunny, ever… And I doubt there is a Fatwah, but maybe they’ll put me under house-arrest until I recant. Just think of the media coverage…

    Blackout: and hallelujah

    earthpal: well let’s make up our own holiday that the fucking Christians CAN’T steal – Penis Sunday; or maybe Arse Wednesday…

  5. Oh, I don’t know now. When I lived and worked in Dublin I brought over these cardboard eggs and filled them with candy. It was a huge success I tell you. HUGE:) It’s like a Kinder Egg only better!

    And what’s the story with your chocolate eggs anyway? I bought this gigantic Mars egg only to find that the cheap b*stards had made it hollow! There was a tear in my bear that night I can tell you

    /Björn the Blond Viking

  6. Another one coming up :-)! Can’t wait!
    Four days of bliss… may they never end.
    Why not four day weekneds every week? Would suit me perfect.

  7. […] come from the Country but I live in the City. After greatly celebrating the festivities of our Sacred Lord and his wonderful chocolate eggs, I realized that I would have to return to the City. Being the prudent girl that I am, I took […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s