Gadget Akimbo

I knew it wouldn’t really work very well, but I bought it anyway. The computer keyboard vacuum cleaner – it sucks, it dusts, it has a kinky little light on it, and it does all this by plugging into a USB slot. Take note, Gadgetron Inc – if you want to sell me more useless crap (and you do) just make it possible to power it through a USB slot and whatever it is, I’ll take it. Toasters, pencil sharpeners, vibrators, miniature surface-to-air missile systems – anything at all as long as it plugs into my computer and does something even vaguely amusing.

I bought a phone recently from Sony Ericsson because it had a built in MP3 walkman with a one gigabyte memory card, as well as a step-counter with training software. Every day I get a run-down of how many steps I have taken, and when I run it gives me distance, time, steps as well as calories burned and volume of saliva drooled whilst staring at my supreme gadget. And, oh yeah, it’s also a telephone.

I love gadgets. They are the sparks in the night sky of modern civilisation, brilliant and altogether pointless things that do one thing, do it quickly and then get consigned to the shit-heap of history. They are like art, except that some moron won’t pay a billion dollars for them at Sotheby’s and they give you a brief chuckle, which is more than can be said for Van Gogh.

Mark my words: when our society slides into oblivion (and it will) the future archaeologists will be scratching their heads when faced with the combo microwave-toaster, the desktop dancing Santa or the tiny and largely useless keyboard vacuum cleaner.

Some USB-warmed coffee, anyone..?

/ paddy

6 thoughts on “Gadget Akimbo

  1. Ha ha ha.
    Undersigned do not like gadgets, have recently learned how to use a mobile phone and bought my computer a few months ago.
    But if I hold on to this techno tempo I´ll reach the I-love-gadgets level within a year….perhaps only months…or weeks :-)

  2. Unlike our ancestors of thousands of years ago who worked in stone, we won’t be leaving anything behind that will make sence in a thousand years, time. Perhaps not even in two or three hundred years time. Future archaeologists will face an impossible task when trying to work out how we lived.

  3. Blackout: A mobile phone, I am afraid, is not a gadget any more. It has evolved into being a tool. A mobile phone with an amusing and pointless feature might just be a gadget, but it’s a grey area.

    Lillan: But it’ll be really easy for them – they’ll just have to check the Internet!

  4. Not? For me it´s The No 1 f…ing gadget. It drives me crazy and every time I try answering I instead put off the tone and I then I nearly feel amused because no one call me for days until one day furious friends and better half demanded me to check my incoming calls. Why shall they be checked one wonder? was my first thought. Next thought: Is this herecy. Am I now on my way to be burnt at the stake?
    It ended with undersigned telling them to leave the said mobile alone and instead be glad for the now and then connections it manage to deliver.
    Think positive, folks.

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