I knew it wouldn’t really work very well, but I bought it anyway. The computer keyboard vacuum cleaner – it sucks, it dusts, it has a kinky little light on it, and it does all this by plugging into a USB slot. Take note, Gadgetron Inc – if you want to sell me more useless crap (and you do) just make it possible to power it through a USB slot and whatever it is, I’ll take it. Toasters, pencil sharpeners, vibrators, miniature surface-to-air missile systems – anything at all as long as it plugs into my computer and does something even vaguely amusing.
I bought a phone recently from Sony Ericsson because it had a built in MP3 walkman with a one gigabyte memory card, as well as a step-counter with training software. Every day I get a run-down of how many steps I have taken, and when I run it gives me distance, time, steps as well as calories burned and volume of saliva drooled whilst staring at my supreme gadget. And, oh yeah, it’s also a telephone.
I love gadgets. They are the sparks in the night sky of modern civilisation, brilliant and altogether pointless things that do one thing, do it quickly and then get consigned to the shit-heap of history. They are like art, except that some moron won’t pay a billion dollars for them at Sotheby’s and they give you a brief chuckle, which is more than can be said for Van Gogh.
Mark my words: when our society slides into oblivion (and it will) the future archaeologists will be scratching their heads when faced with the combo microwave-toaster, the desktop dancing Santa or the tiny and largely useless keyboard vacuum cleaner.
Some USB-warmed coffee, anyone..?