Le Crispy Fish

Ah the autumn, and time to head off to somebody else’s house for a crayfish party!

Note: this is not a party for the crayfish – as you might imagine by examining the phrase “children’s party”, or “birthday party” – but a party where you cook and eat the crayfish. Eugh.

Yes, eugh indeed. As a long-time veggie (and a currently almost-veggie-although-yes-I-a-little-of-whatever-you-have-thanks) I have not tried crayfish before. Looking at this picture, you will understand why:

krafta.jpg

Once again: eugh…

Here is the process:

– Take a dozen well-trained Swedes – people with dainty table manners who sing songs while drinking to hide the fact that they are drinking, and who eat pizza with a knife and fork and dab their faces with their napkins every ten seconds

– Now hand them a plate of disgusting red shell-covered bottom-feeders and stand well back

– First they suck out the “juice” with a horrible slurping sound

– Then they pull the animal to pieces with their bare, slippery, fishy hands

– Then, using their fingers and tongue and teeth they dig their way to the well-hidden meat, deposit the savaged carcass in a bucket and start again.

All together now: Eugh!

I decided to try one, following the insctructions of the person sitting next to me:

“Ok, lift it up – no, don’t make it wave, that’s disturbing – and now suck out the juice. Oh alright, don’t suck out the juice then. Now you turn it over and pull it in half. Come on now, pull! There you go. Now just eat the meat. No, wait, not that part!”

At this point I put down the beady-eyed monster and went back to my Linda McCartney sausages and baked beans.

Mmmm…dead famous sausages…

/ paddy (crayfish-free since 1971)

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9 thoughts on “Le Crispy Fish

  1. But you could lose a lot of weight on a crayfish diet: they must be the only foodstuff which requires more calories to consume than it provides. Then, if you have managed to eat enough to miraculously supply some nutrition, you will also have drunk so much that you are sick, and feel terrible all the next day; another kräftskiva the following evening, and even more weight will come off … by the time Christmas comes around you will be in shape for a real debauch.

  2. Not only do swedes eat pizza with a fork and knife, they put this digusting “pizza salad” on top it!

    Swedish crayfish parties are great fun though. Seafood is certainly their specialty. Never had such good fish and shellfish as i have had there. Its a very genuine taste. Crayfish tail meat are fantastic on salad by the way…

  3. Paddy, I’m with you on the crayfish being disgusting, though lobster is nice. I DO prefer it if someone else has de-shelled the thing, though. I just don’t like to work that hard for my food.

  4. acb: Do you have a catchy name for that diet..?

    Kevin Z: I will take your word for it.

    Blackout: Yeah yeah…

    Alex: Yes, without the de-shelling I might just try the thing.

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