A Sudden Silence

I’ve been a bit quiet the last week. This has been because of my five days at OCD camp, as mentioned, but also because of some serious turmoil in my private life.

romance.jpgBasically my girlfriend, having lived with me for 2 years, has moved out. This has been on the cards for a while, so it wasn’t very surprising, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard. Too much anxiety for one week, I can tell you.

M, when she moved in, had a very rosy image of how it is to live with somebody. I had done it before and my experiences were not quite so rosy. However it was a choice between inviting her to move in or losing her, so move in she did.

Now after 2 years of trying to adapt to living with not only a boyfriend but also half time with his kid, she has done the only thing she felt she could do. Suddenly I have gaping empty closets, too many bathroom lockers, and a bed with a large space in it.

Still, it’s now 100% my place again and if I want to paint the kitchen green, then nobody can raise a finger in protest. Unfortunately it’s also 100% my rent again, meaning I can’t really work part-time much longer. So I have lots more space, but less time in which to enjoy it.

As regards M, all we can do now is wait and see what happens. We still care for each other but if it wasn’t meant to work, then we will call it a day and wander off in different direction, older, wiser and (on my part) considerably poorer.

Whatever happens I’m sure it’s all for the best.

/ paddy


19 thoughts on “A Sudden Silence

  1. Deleting was my own idea since I want to avoid a blogg-war.
    I am actually standing in the middle between two word-fighting friends and my blog seemed to be the scene, so deleting was an easy step to take.
    The account is alive though, so I might come back.
    Right now I´m using all my diplomacy to cool down the combatants without offending them and risk being the next target. It´s all about private matters, I have behaved in the blog world and no one kicked me out :)
    I´m sorry to read about you two splitting, but I can perhaps make you happy by telling that I and my husband did the same years ago. We moved toghether, he have two boys and I never felt for motherhood so after two years it ended with me leaving for an own flat. We lived apart but still together (typicall swedish särbos) for 12 years and when his boys was grown up and had moved out I came back to the house with my horses and my dog and one year later we got married. Not in the church though.
    I am a wife since 7 years, who could ever believe that!

  2. Hey Paddy.

    Here is a pint of guinness and a huge cyber-hug from me. Hope it all turns out well for you and your girlfriend. Lot’s of warm comfort wishes to you.

    Erm . . . the guy in the picture – is that a gun in his pocket or . . .

  3. Blackout: Thanks for that story! It’s nice to know that it may not be a disaster after all… And about your fighting friends – maybe just tell them that you will delete ALL of their comments for a month as a punishment.

    Johan: Thanks.

    earthpal: Thanks a lot. And that looks like a salami – you know, one of those Swiss ones that pirates always had with them…

  4. Sorry to hear about the hiccup (or is that hiccough?) in the relationship thing. I hope it all works out. Hell, I’d live with you – if you were an incredibly hot chick, that is, and didn’t paint the kitchen green or spend all your spare time blogging.

  5. Ah, here we go. The Oxford English Dictionary:
    Hickop, hiccup, appears, from its date, to be a variation of the earlier hickock, HICKET q.v. Hiccough was a later spelling, app. under the erroneous impression that the second syllable was cough, which has not affected the received pronunciation, and ought to be abandoned as a mere error.

    Here I’m using the word in sense 2:
    “A sudden brief or minor interruption in the normal progress of something; a hitch, setback; a decline in (esp. financial) performance which is assumed to be temporary.” which is first attested from 1968.

    Amusingly, the earliest reference to “hiccough” is from Francis Bacon, so it may be incorrect but one is in good company.

  6. csrster: Thanks for your support and subsequent grammatical analysis. I prefer “hicket”, as in “I have a hicket in my love life”. And if you can cook, I promise not to paint the kitchen green.

  7. Eeek.

    Good luck.

    All sorts of things are possible, and not all relationships can cope with domesticity. The one I don’t share my house with once said to me “you would kill me if we lived together, wouldn’t you?” I was happy to reassure him that indeed I would. Oddly enough painting my kitchen yellow was the big plus for me when I split from my ex.

    Seriously, good luck.


  8. Martin: I have every confidence that it will work out OK. One way or the other. You will be getting beer and cheese bread on Saturday…

    Aphra: Thanks. It’s all feelings from here on.

  9. Pat, can’t say much without it sounding a bit trite and obvious, but I hope you guys can work it out.
    Sorry I missed you and H in Ireland btw, a few too many 60 hour weeks lately – try to avoid the working full time as long as you can!

  10. DrDan: Thanks, I hope so too. Modern life is rubbish sometimes – all these things to weigh and decide. Can’t I just pick the girl up, marry her and have a happy ever after? Is that too much to ask?

    And maybe I’ll be back in Ireland before the end of the year. Will let you know.

  11. Love is two parents raising two daughters with Spinal Muscular Atrophy.

    Love is caring for your husband with Lou Gherig’s Disease (would love to give you the link to this story, but the url seems to block my post – “ABC News Robin Brumett” in Google works).

    Love is anything difficult that always lives to tell the tale. And the fix-it in me always feels that nothing is undoable until someone I love is dead.

    your biggest fan

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