Crappy Movie Night

I just saw the movie Eragon with H8. It wasn’t terribly good, but that’s what you should probably expect from a fantasy novel written by a 15-year old. What’s interesting is that the kid just obviously did a remake of Star Wars-A New Hope using dragons, with some Lord of the Rings orcs and magical nonsense just kind of thrown in there.

farmboy-and-dragon.jpg
Figure 1: Luke and Leia discuss having a ride

I mean, seriously, he just did Star Wars pretty much scene by scene. Even when the blonde farm boy’s uncle dies, somebody says – “You couldn’t have helped them, Lukagon. And you would have been dead too.”

So here is the plot, and I don’t care if I spoil it for anybody. You would have to be nematode not to have worked out the plot of this movie in the first 5 minutes anyway:

Princess steals last dragons egg. Gets captured. Farm boy finds egg, hatches dragon. Mentor teaches boy about dragon. Rescue Princess. Mentor dies. Escape to Rebels in mountains with death star plans dragon. Big battle. Farm boy learns to control powers just in time to win. Hurrah.

One (the only) redeeming feature is the dragon itself. For once, the dragon looks quite aerodynamic and has good broad wings that look actually capable of flight, none of those skinny flappy-up-and-down ones as seen in Shrek, for example.

And that, in a nutshell, is the death knell for this movie-the fact that the best character in it was constructed by a team of greasy nerds on a bank of supercomputers.

Will there be a sequel? Oh you can bet your lightsabre/magical dragon sword on that. Will it be any good? Wait a second, I’ll check…now where did I leave that palantír…

/ paddy

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