Men always talk about “their type”. As in: “that woman was just my type”. Now a “type”, I suppose, is a certain group of attributes that a man finds attractive in a woman (and vice versa): a certain hair and eye colour, height, build and so on. Type can also include personality traits – sense of humour, interests, taste in movies – in fact all those things that make us so varied as people.
Now I discovered quite a few years ago that it doesn’t matter what “type” I have, because the women I end up getting are always the ones who pick me. That’s how it is – my type is whoever will have me. The woman chooses me, and I can say yes or no, but it’s not really up to me at all. I can make an effort for her to notice me, and be a charming bastard, but in the end she’s holding all the cards.
I suspect that’s how it is for most men, at least for the men like me. And by men like me I mean men in the physical range of 6-8. I am basing this on the classic 10-scale for physical appearance, where let’s say, Freddy Ljungberg is a 10 and, oh, Andrew Lloyd Webber (the rich bastard) is a 1.
I like to consider myself a 7, and on many days, if my hair sits well and I have my best jacket on, I can feel like an 8. And it’s in this range (6-8) where all the best action is.
For men under 6, the choice of women is very limited (come on guys, just get a fucking haircut, start a night class and hit the running track!). 6-8 men however, have a shot at the cute women, but they have to reply on more than just their looks or muscles. They can cultivate their wit, or become really good at something, or just become really charming bastards. In any case, the effort to score makes them think, and adapt. If the world was fair and just, then we should (along with the B-people) be in charge.
Note here that I am NOT suggesting that physical appearance is the most important thing when choosing a partner. But neither am I naïve enough to pretend that it doesn’t matter, because of course it does. If somebody tells you that “it’s what they have on the inside that counts” then they are lying. All the stuff on the inside (interests, organs, whatever) is great, and vital in the long run, but if there is no physical attraction at all, then you can just forget about it.
And so we do our best – getting degrees, joining rock bands, buying nice clothes, going to IKEA, writing blogs, all to stand out from the rest of the 6 to 8s and find some smart, funny, attractive lady who will put up with us for the rest of our days. As Robin Williams said in Dead Poet’s Society, when he explained why poets write poetry: “To woo women!” And I couldn’t agree more.
/ paddy (feeling like an 8)
(Note to Andrew Lloyd Webber – OK, sorry, you’re not really all that bad.)