Swimming for Stupid People

A funny story from the Swedish press. (Yes, yes, I know it’s old.)

Figure 1: A swimming pool, possibly not in Husby

This public swimming pool in Husby near Stockholm may have to spend pots of money to install a new cleaning unit on their pool filters because so many people are bathing with their underwear on under their swimming trunks. This leads to high amounts of nitrogen in the water which in turn leads to large bacteria populations.


Indeed. The question is, why the hell would people do this? Laziness? Stupidity? Religious reasons (the great invisible sky ape said onto me: thou shalt bathe i thine underpants)? Some new youth fashion? Fuck knows.

The story gets better. When the pool guards point out to people that they may not have underwear on in the pool, they get replies such as: “We know where you live”. Lovely.

It seems to there is one solution here: don’t allow the morons to bathe with their underwear on. Could it be simpler than that? Just chuck them out, the brainless twats.

Honestly, if they just put me in charge, then everything would be OK forever. And first to go would be Swedish pizza. And then SUVs.

/ paddy (your nicer dictator)


(And scientifically minded people out there – don’t forget that I will be hosting the Tangled Bank science blog carnival on November 7. So please send me your own articles on anything remotely related to science, or other people’s articles you stumbled across, or funny stories you heard on the bus, or just smutty jokes with scientists in them. I’m not a fussy man.

Just send them to mrPaddyK[a.t]gmail[d.o.t]com)

18 thoughts on “Swimming for Stupid People

  1. Johan: It’s the kids’ fault, of course. Little bastards. Back in my day…blah blah blah…

    charlotteotter: I think they just have small willies.

    csrster: I know – I try and get all the emotions into a single article!

  2. Nothing says “spa relaxation” like a good, long soak in nitrogen-enriched pee water with other anal-retentive, Swedish-pizza-eating, SUV-driving bedwetters. Maybe they wear the underwear on as added protection against their bits showing. I know that can be embarassing in public when Mr Winkie decides to “step outside the comfort of his home”, if you know what I mean, especially after a dip in the turbulent waters of a whirlpool.

  3. OMG! I’ve been saying “rock out with your cock out” since I was teeny-bopper hard rock nut. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone else say it before. Kanon!

    Anyways, how does wearing underwear increase nitrogen in the pool? Is residual urine and fecal matter really that much?

  4. Glen: Try transparent bathing gear to help get over your fears.

    ullis: Just in the privacy of my own home. Or in ICA.

    kevin z: I tell you, these young Swedes know all the swear words.

    Apparently its not just the fecal matter and pee in the underwear, it’s also the fact that they refuse to shower properly before swimming. Dirty little buggers.

  5. PK, you’re ruining my perception of the Swedes as a bunch of nature loving blonde people who like to wander around naked and spend all their time in the sauna! Oh, and the spontaneous orgies…. with cheesy seventies jazz in the background…..
    oh wait, that’s just Swedish porn

  6. And the fun thing is that saunas is really mostly a finnish thing, isn’t it? The word “sauna” is finnish. In other cases, I will relate northern Sweden to Finland, just for me being right.

  7. Alex: Well now you’ve got your next project, don’t you.. ? ;)

    DrDan: I wouldn’t know anything about that…

    ullis: But you ARE always right..!

  8. What?
    do the Finnish know that the Swedish porn industry has hijacked one of their iconic customs?
    I sense an international incident on the horizon

  9. Let’s face it, the last thing we need is for this blog to turn into a forum for readers to air their petty grievances in public. Having said that, what bleedin part of ‘plenty of milk please’ does the bloke who makes my coffee in the morning not understand? Admittedly, Greek may not be his 1st language, but he’s from Cyprus so it probably is. Let’s get this sorted so we can go back to whingeing about the new world order.

  10. DrDan: Yes, they know. I’m sure they are getting a royalty.

    Raymond Van der Geest: Now hang on there a second – the whole point of this blog is for readers to air their petty grievances in public. More petty grievances, please!

  11. Yeah, what’s wrong about petty grievances? That’s about what we do here in this industry country. What else would we do with all that time left after work and before sleep. Go mad? Oh, we’ve already done that. Just the random industry-country-problems left!

  12. I think it’s sick man, swimming pools are ‘orrible! Imagine everyone elses p*ss & s*it going in your mouth! Ewww! I’d rather go swimming in a water treatments works than go in a public swimming pool! :P

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