Christmas Duck

Well it’s Christmas and as much as I like to pretend otherwise, I do indeed like it in many ways.

I’m not a fan of whole consumption thing, how “showing that you care” has been translated into “buying lots of stuff” by the idiot automatons who inhabit the world’s advertising agencies. But even I have my Christmas traditions: go and look at the Christmas windows in some big department store; buy a kick-ass space opera book for myself, wrap it and put it under the tree; drink a whole bottle of Bailey’s and half a pound of fudge; and so on.

Figure 1: A Space Opera, low on singing, high on fusion bombs

But the Swedes have one tradition I cannot understand. At 15:00 on December 24th, the entire country grinds to a standstill and puts on the TV to watch an old, scratchy and badly dubbed Disney Christmas Special. This is a golden, unbreakable “tradition” and you will get a good percentage of the Swedish population frothing at the mouth if you even mention the possibility of showing something else instead.

The funny thing is that for the last 15 minutes of this “tradition”, Disney shows ads for upcoming Disney movies. And bear in mind that the entire Swedish population is watching this. So 15 minutes of prime-time advertising to an entire country would normally cost – how much, exactly? A shit-load?

kalle_anka.jpgNow I am sure that Swedish TV, SVT, is getting paid by Disney to show this stuff. But I can’t find any proof on the net. All I find is SVT complaining about how much of the taxpayers money they have to give to Disney in order to continue this “tradition” – or, to summarise: Disney demands to get paid in order for SVT to give them massive free advertising time on Christmas day. Does this make sense to anybody? Or is SVT simply talking out of their collective arses? Even Wikipedia (Swedish) doesn’t really know.

My suggestion is for everybody to download the damned thing and put it on at 15:00. And in this way everybody will get to see it, Disney won’t get a fucking penny and SVT can save some taxpayer’s money and put a picture of some bananas on the TV for 45 minutes instead. As well as give their managers a big fat Christmas bonus for being so fucking clever.

Tradition, my dears, is the tyranny of the dead.

Have a good one.

/ paddy

12 thoughts on “Christmas Duck

  1. I don’t understand the Christmas Disney thing either. ‘Course, back when I was a kid, we were so starved for animated film that we watched that thing religiously. But today there’s animation everywhere. My kids don’t seem to have very strong feelings for the show. I predict that their kids won’t watch it at all.

  2. In my family we mostly sit through the whole thing mostly talking, but everyones favourite is Santa’s Workshop. It’s old, cute and good. The rest of it we don’t really care much about.

    Oh, but Karl-Bertil Johnsson that airs on SVT around 7-8pm we HAVE to watch. It’s a feast of oneliners. Awesome.

  3. Martin: Or they might watch it in their VR contact lenses. Or something.

    ullis: Maybe I’ll watch it this year.

    Everybody else: And a happy one to you!

  4. Ha ha ha, apropå tv-traditioner, såg du att de inte kunde se på TV på södermalm just när det var Karl-Bertil Jonssons jul, ganska komiskt att Stockholm eget södernäste missar (som enda distrikt i sverige) julens enda vänstervridna tradition. Stackarna.
    Jag skippade Kalle som vanligt, inte Karl-Bertil dock, det är ju en riktigt vacker julsaga… (så nä, ALLA svenskar kollar inte på Disney klockan tre på julafton).

  5. ullis: No, missed it…I’m not good at remembering to look at TV.

    Karin: Yeah that was fun! Aftonbladet made it seem like some kind of natural disaster, which I thought was interesting. Well, they could just all go watch it on youTube.

  6. “I’m not a fan of whole consumption thing, how “showing that you care” has been translated into “buying lots of stuff” by the idiot automatons who inhabit the world’s advertising agencies.”

    Hit the nail on the head. And as we all know, poor people are selfish and love no one because no one that lacks money is a real human being or deserves to be helped. So it’s okay to kick bums and push them into the streets! It noticed it was a Christmas tradition when I lived in Vancouver. Nothing says compassion this holiday season than kicking the poor and buying “someone who has everything” even MORE stuff! HOORAY FOR CAPITALISM!

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