Sleeping with the Fishes

A while back, in order to make trouble, I sent a letter to the newspaper Metro asking why it was illegal to have sex with animals when it was fine to lock them up without charge, and then kill them and eat them. I was taking the piss mostly, but then I discovered that it isn’t actually illegal to have sex with animals in Sweden, as long as they don’t suffer (and as long as nobody can prove that they do).

And now a campaign is underway by those slightly confused do-gooders of the Swedish animals right’s organisation, Djurens Rätt, to make it once again illegal to have sex with animals outside of one’s own species. It used to be in Sweden, but in 1944 the restriction was lifted (at the same time, funnily enough, as it became legal for men to have sex with each other).

Djurens Rätt’s present campaign includes such slogans as “Stop Raping Animals”. To my mind, that ranks up there with “Meat is murder” for moronic intent. You see, my kind-hearted simpletons, just as “murder” is defined as the killing of a human, “rape” is defined as a human forcing themselves sexually upon another human. Applying it to animals just degardes the whole concept and makes you look like a bit of a tit.

Now I’m not condoning having sex with animals – in fact the very idea makes me shake my head in bewilderment – but I’m sure that to a horse or a sheep, getting some occasional unwanted attention at that end is akin to getting a dose or anti-worm medicine, or having a hoof pared, or getting a sharp smack with a stick.

To be very honest I think that animals would be rather amused by the determination of the dozen or so humans who showed up in Stockholm today to protest on their behalf.

Now the concept of animal brothels is very unsettling, for a great number of reasons. Confining animals like this is of course not good, but no worse really than confining them for some other reason. A pig’s day in an industrial meat facility is no picnic, penis or no penis. And living your life on display in a zoo can’t be a barrell of laughs either. But once again, applying human standards of “rights” and “decency” to animals is neither logical nor reasonable.

Animals deserve respect and we need to see that they can live well, don’t suffer unneccessarily and don’t go extinct. But they can’t really have “rights” in the human and legal sense since they don’t have responsibilities.

And I don’t care how cute (or sexy) they are.

/ paddy

13 thoughts on “Sleeping with the Fishes

  1. Oh but Paddy, don’t you see, the animals are submissive to people, exactly as little children are. As the little children can’t protest when they are being molested, and perhaps don’t even understand what’s being done to them, so it is with the animals who are submissive to people and don’t understand what’s done to them. They are not in a situation to protest against the violation.

    As with little children, if you do it to the animals, you are violating them, and hurting them no matter whether they realise it themselves or not. Even if they are not in pain, they are hurt mentally. As the minister said, having sexual intercourse with an animal is already prohibited in Sweden, since if you do you are hurting it either physically or mentally. That’s by definition.

    Since animals and little kids are in the precise same situation we better make sure to treat them the same way, for the same reasons. Otherwise we would find ourselves on a slippery slope, sliding down to really nasty actions. One day we might even find ourselves eating little children – exactly as we do with animals!

    I for one enjoy eating animals, but I *don’t* enjoy eating little kids.

    regards/meateater Rolf

    ps: What a woman! Where did you get hold of that photo?

  2. The animal rights movement is in my opinion a load of misdirected idealism that could be employed to alleviate far more pressing problems.

    As for bonking large mammals: a veterinary friend of mine tells me that a cow hardly flinches when the vet shoves an arm up its rectum. Don’t flatter yourselves, human males.

  3. Paddy – you have a wonderful way of opening up cans of worms … pun intended! I see your point – but just because a cow or sheep doesn’t flinch, that doesn’t mean that it is ok to have sex with animals. It is a way of showing your power over someone more vulnerable than yourself – and not only is it demeaning to the animal but also to the perpetrator.

    I do get your point that it is no worse than confining animals that are to be slaughtered – but that really is not ok either. And an organization like Djurens Rätt is against that sort of confinement too.

    As for that picture of the gorilla… she really does look lovely! ;-)

  4. Is treating adult animals like children or acknowledge that they have a low IQ humiliating since they are not children nor should be putted in a human measurment of intelligence. I agree upon the complication of always comparing animals rights with humans.

    But animalsex is something worse than killing, medical treatment, breeding…. It´s a way to satisfy ones sexual filthy needs and it´s not natural (even though our ancestors cromagnon probably did it) and thus dirty. We don´t want the dog to be that good freind, do we? The male animal probably don´t suffer but a dog getting penetrated by a penis might do.

    No, we should rather apply they way we treat animals on ourself. My sister breeded a foal last year (or her mare Vega did). i know lots of people get inseminated every day, but in the horseworld it´s more easy. Imagine that you see a man in the street, in a magazin, on a party and you can always buy his sperm. Then you pay some for it and get inseminated. Strange maybe but being over 30 and no children yet you can reconcider this. In the human life it´s just poor students or narcissistic wankers that donate sperm, you dont know so much about them and will probably never meet them.
    Yeah but since you are a human you can pic yourself. Yeah but extend it more, let your parents choose. I´m sure they are very eager to be granparents since im over 30. I´m sure they would be delighted to walk around or read magazine about successfull career men that donate. Maybe Carl Bildt, Al Gore, Bill Gates or maybe gaypeople like George Michael (I think his sperm is very cheep nowdays). Only a suggestion to be equal with animals. Well we can allow cannibalism too!!!

  5. Alex: It’s probably a throat infection, try some antibiotics.

    Rolf: Of course the difference is, children will eventually grow into people, while animals will just grow into dinner.

    Krister: Throw in “gröna bilisten” and it’s a deal.

    Martin: I agree, having had my own arm inside a cow on several occasions.

  6. Lady Fi: Sure it isn’t OK, I never said that. But if all the guilt and shame is on the human side, and most animals don’t care, why should it be a crime, when it is already taboo? Can animals be “demeaned” by things they don’t even understand?

    H: Oh no, don’t start bringing out the “it’s not natural” argument, that’s one argument I can’t stand. Almost nothing we do these days is “natural” and, as you say, it actually DOES happen in nature, so it IS natural.

    And I’m SURE you could find a great many women who would be happy to be artificially inseminated with Bill Gates’ semen.

  7. Well, when i said that´s not normal, I meant what is not concidered as normal or tabu due to our Christian valuesystem. From the beginning “not normal” in a sexual context was applied to tabu and then biological explanations. Sex was a action of reproduction. Gaysex, animalsex, childsex was thus abnormal. And sexual force is nowdays linked to democratic principals. But before the science and it´s need to explain our human behavour, people shagged like today and didn´t reflect so much about it. The willing or sexual enjoyment of women, children and animals was not of importance. But the did one action during the Middle Ages, they forbid male shepherds and animal sex was a crime. So what happened?

  8. H: The modern definition of child-sex WAS both normal and natural for a very long time. That doesn’t make it right, but that’s how it was.

    And sex with animals was sometimes accepted by religions and sometimes forbidden, depending on when and where it was. In fact it was sometimes a part of the religious rituals.

    And I pretty sure that this thing with the shepherds is not correct. Where did you hear that?

  9. My puppy certainly not grow into dinner. Not my horse either. And absolutely not the fantastic mini-sow. In fact non of my animals will be eaten. They are close friends, better than many human ditto.

  10. I remebered in law school we talked about this law against animal sex and why they were only female cowherds. (Not among the Sami people) but at the mountain grazing. Thus the name “Fäbojäntor”(farm maides). A name of a very famous pornofilm by the way. Back then people was afraid of evil offsprings not the sexaction itself.

    In Sweden there were death penalty on zoophilia til 19th century and then within the penal code till 1930 or 40. Sweden decriminalized it at the same time as sodomi (homosexuality atleast) since they were both included in the same article in the law. The persons being judged mostly been young men between 15-20 from rual areas.

    By the way it was the south european countries that took

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