A while back, in order to make trouble, I sent a letter to the newspaper Metro asking why it was illegal to have sex with animals when it was fine to lock them up without charge, and then kill them and eat them. I was taking the piss mostly, but then I discovered that it isn’t actually illegal to have sex with animals in Sweden, as long as they don’t suffer (and as long as nobody can prove that they do).
And now a campaign is underway by those slightly confused do-gooders of the Swedish animals right’s organisation, Djurens Rätt, to make it once again illegal to have sex with animals outside of one’s own species. It used to be in Sweden, but in 1944 the restriction was lifted (at the same time, funnily enough, as it became legal for men to have sex with each other).
Djurens Rätt’s present campaign includes such slogans as “Stop Raping Animals”. To my mind, that ranks up there with “Meat is murder” for moronic intent. You see, my kind-hearted simpletons, just as “murder” is defined as the killing of a human, “rape” is defined as a human forcing themselves sexually upon another human. Applying it to animals just degardes the whole concept and makes you look like a bit of a tit.
Now I’m not condoning having sex with animals – in fact the very idea makes me shake my head in bewilderment – but I’m sure that to a horse or a sheep, getting some occasional unwanted attention at that end is akin to getting a dose or anti-worm medicine, or having a hoof pared, or getting a sharp smack with a stick.
To be very honest I think that animals would be rather amused by the determination of the dozen or so humans who showed up in Stockholm today to protest on their behalf.
Now the concept of animal brothels is very unsettling, for a great number of reasons. Confining animals like this is of course not good, but no worse really than confining them for some other reason. A pig’s day in an industrial meat facility is no picnic, penis or no penis. And living your life on display in a zoo can’t be a barrell of laughs either. But once again, applying human standards of “rights” and “decency” to animals is neither logical nor reasonable.
Animals deserve respect and we need to see that they can live well, don’t suffer unneccessarily and don’t go extinct. But they can’t really have “rights” in the human and legal sense since they don’t have responsibilities.
And I don’t care how cute (or sexy) they are.