Dodgy Numbers

The Swedish state does like to protect us from things: alcohol, taking responsibility, getting injured, earning too much money, stuff like that. And now, I have discovered, they are also very concerned about what we can have on the number plate of our cars.

There is a black list, held in a great grey safe somewhere in the lowest basement of the Swedish traffic regulation and busybody board (Vägverket). And upon this list are written, in the blood of virgin ticket ladies, those 3-letter combinations that are so powerful as to never be uttered in polite company, or inscribed upon a license plate.

So avert thine eyes, for here is the entire list:

APA, ARG, BAJ, CUC, CUK, DUM, DYR, ETA, ETT, FAN, FEG, FEL, FEM, FES, FET, FNL, FUC, FUL, GAM, GAS, GAY, GET, GEY, GLO, GOM, GUB, GUC, GUD, GUK, HAL, HAN, HAO, HAR, HAS, HAT, HER, HES, HET, HJO, HKH, HMO, HOM, HON, HOR, HOT, HRA, HUD, HUK, HUS, HUT, JUG, JUK, JUO, JUR, KDS, KUC, KUF, KUG, KUK, KYK, LAM, LAT, LEM, LOJ, LSD, LUS, LUZ, MAD, MAO, MAS, MEN, MES, MLB, KUF, MUS, MUT, NAZ, NEJ, NJA, NOS, NRP, NUP, NYP, NYS, OND, OOO, ORA, ORM, OST, OXE, PAJ, PAP, PES, PKK, PLO, PNS, PRO, PUB, PUC, PUK, PYS, RAS, REA, ROM, RPS, RUG, RUK, RUS, SAB, SAC, SAF, SAP, SAT, SEG, SEK, SEX, SJU, SOP, SOS, SPY, SSU, SUG, SUP, SUR, SWE, SYF, TAJ, TBC, TOA, TOK, TYP, TOT, TRE, UCK, USH, UFF, UPA, USA, UFO, WAM, WAR, WTC, WWW, XTC, XTZ, XXL, XXX, XUK

Some of these are rude words in Swedish (KUK, MUS), others are abbreviations for names of troubling organisations (ETA, USA), others are just regular words in Swedish (GET, SPY, HUD) while yet others are just, well, slightly confusing (HAO, SYF).

Apparently one reason for forbidding these words is that they might become too popular, and since only 3 digits are used on Swedish license plates (000-999) they might soon run out of MAOs (popular with the Swedish Left Party), ONDs (meaning evil, popular with the idiots), SWEs (popular with nationalists) or APAs (popular with monkeys).

But I couldn’t help noticing that they allow KKK, FUK, TIT and ASS. Obviously they are not considering the people in Sweden who speak English and who might be insulted and suffer psychological damage by seeing rude words. Another example of Sweden taking a dump on the immigrants (like me) and not considering our feelings.

So the question is, who should I sue for my trauma and mental suffering?

/ paddy

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21 thoughts on “Dodgy Numbers

  1. You are so sharp!
    In DK there are legislations as to what you may call your children. This is – just as the Swedish licence plate restrictions – also insulting to immigrants as the list of names you may choose from are mainly traditionally ethnic Danish names. An example: – a semi-british friend of mine had to wait 6 months to get a response to her application for allowance of calling their son Connor.
    I myself (and my son’s father) also waited – more than 6 months to gain permission to call our child a Faroese name (and this even though the Faroes are officially a part of the Danish state). But as a slight credit to people bothering with having nameless infants for more than 6 months – the name is – if accepted – added to the list of approved names so that future parents wanting the same name will not have to bother applying too. That 6 months wait caused my son to go under the name Kofi Anan on a plane ticket once, by the way.
    Blablabla, Christina rambles on… Have a great day Patrick.

  2. > So the question is, who should I sue for my trauma
    > and mental suffering?

    You shouldn’t. Do it the swedish way instead. Write a nice, calm letter to the regulation board and point it out politely to them that they forgot to censor those dastardly words. I’m sure they will remedy the foresight posthaste. After all, they are serious, responsible civil servants.

    See? No need to work up trauma or mental suffering.

    regards,
    Rolf the swede

  3. Yeah but if we respect the slavonic and greek people and take the Cyrillic alphabet into concideration… B=V, E=JE, H=N, X=ch, C= Russian S and S is Ukrainan DZE, Y=O, P=R, и=i(almost N)……….
    MARTIN: Did you get any fantasy in creating offending combination, adressed to Russians, Bulgarians and Ukrainans?

    FIS is maybe not ok but FIC is??????? Terrible, terrible!!!

    And XEP (harmless swedish sign combination) means dick in Russian, sex spells CEKS, and that might be offending they day we need four letter combinations on the signs… and what about DON’T MENTION THE WAR-PRINCIPALS!!!!! What about the cold war and all people from the former Soviet Union living in Sweden. Its not ok to have USA but you can have YCA? And now with the conflict in Georgia, they think we favour Bush since we can write it BYX ( i know it would be VOCH in Russians, but since they now know both alphabet they can for sure get double offended and figure out terrible humiliating combination that refers to race, religion, history and so on i 2 alphabet!!!! The Russians might be a domestic enemy and claim that they want Norrland to belong to Russia in the future!!! Let´s prevent that and don´t offend them on the carsigns!!!!!!!

  4. пенис is that correct word (penis) and хуй too ofcourse. You are not to old just bad vocabulary. HBT would be great if i was gay!

  5. H: Yes but do you know any rude words in Gaelic, eh? Is dócha nach bhfuil seans ar bith ann..?

    Rolf: Back to swearing school for you, I’m afraid.

    ladyfi: How about “MAC 666”? I think that one would be OK.. ;)

  6. Me and my friends find great pleasure in documenting funny registration signs of different origins. One time a car with the plate “ULL” stood next to one that said “EWL” (which is pronounced “ull” in nerdlingo) and I had a field day. WTF, OMG, EWW, WUB(love) FAP, EEP are among the ones that I’ve seen so far, much to my rejoicing.

    One time two cars passed me at the same time, one with “TOR” and one with “ODE” which I instantly connected to “Oden” which entertained my archaeologynerdgenes very much too.

    Giggle.

  7. My favourites so far were two cars parked next to Dramaten. The first was called OOH, the second AAH.
    They didn’t think of that possibility now, did they…!

  8. Póg mo thóin!
    By the way – “Zeb” means “dick” in Arab. Mr. Macahan – or at least James Arness – just lived in blissful ignorance, I suppose…

  9. […] My fellow clown conspirator, Paddy K, has also been in Sweden a long time. But he’s more of a chic urban yuppie, especially when it comes to the knotty problem of what to do with your leftover Christmas trees. However, no matter where you live in Sweden, the big brother state is always looking out for your interests:  making sure we do not drink too much or earn too much, for example. Paddy explores this and the mystery of licence plates in Dodgy Numbers. […]

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