The Choice Jungle

Once again I am stuck in the choice jungle, hacking my way grimly forward with the machete of truth and justice.

Moving into a new apartment always brings lots of tedious choices, but now it’s just going bonkers. Choose Internet, choose TV, choose telephone, choose a sofa, choose a power company…does it all have to BE this difficult?

When I was a kid – blah blah blah – (fill in own anecdote-about-simple-childhood here).

And then, to add insult to injury, I was forced to get a new kind of bus card. Now it’s a nice bus card and its got a chip and all and you can open doors and things without removing it from your pocket. But it comes in 5 colours so I had to choose which colour I wanted when I bought it.

Hello, why do I CARE what colour it is? It will be in my WALLET and I will never have to see it, that’s the whole POINT. Too much choice is not good for us, it’s a terrible disease of society. Just give me the default and stop asking me stupid questions. In fact I think I will print up a t-shirt – “Just give me the default”.

And then comes one choice more – a new TV. Will it be black or grey? Will it be fat or thin? How thin? Really thin or really REALLY thin? Will it be normal, plasma, sausage compatible or HD?

HD TV, if the ads are to be believed, will make me happier, because its better to watch the same old crap with some more pixels. And we all know that  Happiness = Pixels/Pi.

But what KIND of pie..?

/ paddy


6 thoughts on “The Choice Jungle

  1. Hello, why do I CARE what colour it is?

    The different colours are, I’d bet, designed for families. If you are five in the family, it’s really useful to be able to tell which card is whose by just looking at it. Guess why I and the wife have ipods in different colours…

  2. When I can’t choose between two things – shoes, men, desserts, dresses – I just take both. Really, it’s the only answer. And, Jaze, I went off there for a while and only came back tonight to discover YOU scarpered for awhile yourself. (Ok, I confess I went off in a huff over the religious thing, but come on, you know that’s just being Irish. Btw I’m going to Lough Derg next month. EXTREME PRAYER.) Anyway, I love your ranting and raving. Nobody does it better than the Irish. I also think you are a good writer, i.e. your pieces on t’other blog, BUT, Paddy, if you are serious about writing you don’t put your stuff online like that. You work at home, slowly and painfully, in despair and loneliness and doubt, until you have completed your opus which you will send out to an agent or publisher. Now that’s just my opinion but I think you owe it to your writing ability.

  3. OR Melling: Now wouldn’t life be boring is we only wanted to be surrounded by people who agree with us? I do love a good firey discussion!

    Ah yes, I have polished many an Opus over the years. Presently 3 novels in various stages of finishment – one in 4th draft, two almost done in first draft. Perhaps, like you say, I should just focus on them instead. So are you in the mood for reading a chapter..? Some professional advice would be worth its weight in gold.

  4. Paddy, I don’t even have time to read my own stuff right now. I’m working on an adult novel, a young adult series, a graphic novel series and a television series. But I promise to let you know as soon as I see a break in the scrum. Meanwhile, stop farting around and focus on ONE of those manuscripts and get it finished so you can begin the equally painful and lonely process of sending it around. (Hey, it’s a job.)

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