Swedish Super Villains

I don’t understand why every evil power in movies wants to end up running the world/galaxy. They fight and torture people and lay waste to things for decades to achieve–what? The biggest administration job of all time? Hurrah.

full villainRunning the world would be hugely annoying – it’s hard enough for me to remember to pay the bills on time. But to have to tell everybody what to do, all the time, and then check that they did it? What an enormous pain in the arse.

And if you tried to set up as a global domination supervillain in Sweden you would be very disappointed. First of all you would probably need about six thousand various permits and have to stand in five hundred queues to get them.

Then you would need to have taken all the relevant courses before you would be allowed to even strap a laser onto a shark, such as: “Hidden bases–theory and application”, “Insane public speaking”, “Care of superweapons” and of course “Henchpeople–a gender perspective on minions”.

Then to get a headquarters you will need to be in the accommodation queue for twenty five years. And even then if the ventilation isn’t correct, or the mutant wolves aren’t getting enough exercise, or you have used workers and not paid tax for them, or you have bought wine on a Sunday, they will come and shut you down.

So supervillain = bad career choice in Sweden!

And so I’m out of here for various Summer activities. I will magically cause some old articles to republish themselves periodically to keep you all happy, so there will be something pretty to look at. And I’ll be back properly on July 27.

Have a good one!

/ paddy

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4 thoughts on “Swedish Super Villains

  1. ha ha ha!

    You forgot to mention the hours of meetings that would be needed for everyone on the Take-over-the-world team to come to an agreement on how to take over the world in a lagom fashion…

  2. Glen: They just spend all their time replicating and not doing any actual taking over. A bad investment.

    ladyFi: Or what kind of cake to have at the meetings.

  3. Poor Paddy… Speaking from your own experience? If so, you just proved yourself not a real global domination supervillain.

    The true villians never give a thought to future administration, not even if people rub their noses in it. Of course most super villains get foiled before they come into real power, so the problem never arises.

    Why not write a novel about it instead? I liked your previous novel, especially the freudian space craft technology. If you can top that in a swedish super domination villain novel, I’d be all for it. :-)

    cheers/Rolf

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