Goatee Saver Douchebag

Here is one of those products that seems to be a clever joke, but is actually for real, which makes it all the more hilarious and sad.

The goatee has been used in fiction for years to signal that a character is “evil”, and is used in reality, specifically in the US, to indicate that a person is a jock and/or an idiot (whether intentional or not).

I mean, come on, if you’re going to grow a bread, then grow a bloody beard, and spare us the ordeal of looking at a face that looks like it was put together in Photoshop.

And the dudes in the ad! Jeeeezus. Serial killer convention, anyone? Is there any of these guys that you would trust, for any reason, for even a millisecond?

And then you hold the stupid thing in your MOUTH…

Excuse me, I have to leave now and shudder for a while.

/ p

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15 thoughts on “Goatee Saver Douchebag

  1. Damn! I’ve GOT to get one of those! It’ll enable me to express my personality at babes so much more efficiently! Thank you so much for the tip, Paddy!

  2. What about the 60’s dad/ radical muslim ones without a proper moustache? I think a goatee is a saving for those with a poorly beard growth.

    I thought a goatee in the States was a symbol of intellectual IT-neards.

  3. My favourite line: If you’re going to grow a bread, then grow a beard… You’ve been in Sweden too long! ,-)

    Still, nice to know anyone can look like a pimp or gangsta!

  4. Ah Paddy Paddy Paddy. We are back in the “Mac Users are pricks” / “Whoops I own one now territory”. Closely linked to the “Cars owners are dicks” episode which was closely followed by the “I thinks I might get a car” episode.
    I now sport a rather fetching and occasionally soup encrusted Roman beard which, depending on the shake in my hand on any given shaving episode, could revert to being a goatee.
    Yup the template gizmo is shite, the guys in the add should be avoided at all costs and yet all this is tainted by memories of your wispy Fu-Man Chu beard growing catastrophes of the past. Admit it, your envious of the manly men in the ad!!!!!
    Hang on. I get it now. You are the Antigoatee!!! Your have big bushy locks leaving only the Goatee area bare. Hmmmmmmmm

    • Ah Sean, Sean, Sean. As I have said on many an occasion, Mac users are NOT all pricks, only the ones who go on about how superior it is all the time. Like those iPhone people. yes, you know who you are…

      No car yet, so I’m safe there for the moment!

      And yes, I wish I was an American nerdy scum bag too. And I could also wear beige slacks.

  5. But … but …

    *whisper* I love goatees.

    Probably BECAUSE they look rather evil…

    That said, the day I walk in on a presumptive boyfriend using one of those things, I think that would probably kill the passion of that relationship.

    • There’s just something WRONG about putting it in your mouth like that. Just had a thought – maybe there is also a pubic version…? Now THAT’S troubling…

  6. Well, I guess the Dutch have the right of it: they call a Goatee a ‘praten kut’ easy enough to translate when you know there’s a silent n in the second word.

    Thanks for this Paddy, it’s going to haunt me.

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