Words of Fuzzy Wisdom

I purchased a certain product last week and upon this product I found a text.

The text was warm and sweet and diffuse and said nothing whatsoever about the actual product. Classic copy. It also confused the hell out of me. And here, for your delight, it is.

The one who dares to dream, dares to live. Dreams keep us going, dreams have the power to change the world. So go ahead and jump into the river of dreams, dive deep away from the greyness of everyday and free yourself. Remember: you’re innocent when you dream.

Still there? Good. Give your head a shake and read the thing again, if you want. It won’t help.

I won’t go on about the morons who sit around and brainstorm stuff like this for a living. I could, but I won’t.

And I won’t spit fire about said morons stealing a song title from Tom Waits to boost their fucking incomes.

I will just leave it up to you, my dear readers (yes you there, get out from behind that hedge, I see you) to guess on which product I found this text. And WITHOUT googling it, I may add. Or iPhoning it or whatever it is you kids do these days on your fancy compamuters.

So off you go then. There’s no hurry. I’ll be here, quietly fuming.

/ paddy


Okay then, it’s time to reveal that the product is….

Toilet paper. Nice one Jack!

Here is the website, which make it all perfectly clear…

It’s nice to see that toilet paper has nothing to do with arses any more.



25 thoughts on “Words of Fuzzy Wisdom

  1. Any product. Remember, when we buy things, we don’t buy products, we buy wish fulfillment. This is the basis for most sales, apart from the absolute basic hardcore knockonhead fireandforget selling. We even buy things just to get those few seconds of relationship to the clerk. I bet I could even sell me to you if I really focussed on the task. :-)



  2. If shopping is the new religion, maybe it is a form of animism, instilling spirits to everyday object, with which we interact via our lifestyle spirit, which is in this way renewed and validated. Or maybe it is a harsher Orthodox version of religions like Judaism or Islam, full of ritualistic observances and rules, in which some objects and practices are good and make us righteous, like designer labels, or being first with a new trend, while some are unclean and require purging, like own brands, and repairing stuff.

  3. If I’m to judge from what they usually write on products here in Greece, I would guess that was either a soft drink or an orange juice. Especially Life, the foremost orange juice brand in Greece, write a lot of silly stuff about healthy energies and the freshness of body and mind that will pervade you in the dream of the new day – provided, of course, that you drink Life Orange Juice (which, by the way, I do, since it’s actually damn good).

    In Japan you find similar texts on soft drinks, at least the versions in English they often print on the label. With that said, the translations are not necessarily of a quality to inspire you with confidence that they actually say the same thing as the original Japanese text on the other side of the bottle.

    All the best,

  4. Sounds like a coca cola ad. Those guys like to believe they can convince us that if we drink their product, we can change the world. I recently saw an old Coke ad from the 70’s and it showed the united nations singing – I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, grow apple trees and honey bees . . . . Admit it, you’re singing the song now.

    I’ll look for the old ad on You Tube and if I inadvertently find your mystery text at the same time, do I still win?

  5. Well, sorry this only makes sense in Danish, but it’s toilet paper instructions in poetry form. Maybe some Swedish readers will get it. But anyway it would work better on a toilet paper package than that blurry fuzzy carebear text!!

    Nu i disse spare tider
    brug papirets begge sider
    Ja, minsandten
    også på kanten
    Tænk nu også på din ven
    rul papiret på igen

    There, that’s instruction!

  6. Ok, I tried translating it to English but it doesn’t rhyme as well:

    Now we have these dire times
    use the paper on both sides
    yes indeed
    even the edge
    Also think about your friend
    roll the paper back again

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