Girls Using iPhones

05 Mar

So I was at a concert yesterday. And as soon as the band came on stage I had a desire to photograph them. I took out my shitty little phone and spent a few seconds fiddling with it before I realised a few key points: my phone was shit; the room was too dark;  and I was missing the actual IRL event I was paying to see.

I watched the concert instead, but quickly noticed that many other people were busy snapping away on their iPhones. So I tried instead to take photos of them. And I got a few nice photos of attractive girls taking pictures of the band, which was much more entertaining that watching the band itself.

There was, I realised, probably a porn site for that kind of thing. Of course there is – there is a porn site for everything, and I won’t even try and list the most bizarre options here; just go out and find them for yourselves. Tea-towel and cake-baking porn? Oh I bet you’ll find it. Men doing it with one-legged librarians? Five dollars says it’s out there somewhere.

And there IS naturally already a site specialising in photos of girls using iPhones. Typical. Which means that I can’t do it myself. Although this site is more of a “girls taking photos of their own barely covered breasts with a camera that just happens to be an iPhone” but yeah, you get the point.

And the concert was fine, but her hair was far too large.

/ paddy


Posted by on March 5, 2010 in Life, Society


Tags: , , ,

24 responses to “Girls Using iPhones

  1. Bellis

    March 5, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    What concert, Paddy? What band?

    To me it looks like you were at Debaser (judging from your photo, that is). A quick glance at their web site indicates that they update it daily, so I don’t see what band played yesterday.

    Just curious.

    All the best,

    • paddyK

      March 6, 2010 at 12:37 am

      It was La Roux at Berns. Fun but, well, just fun. Nice hair though.

  2. Glen Gordon

    March 6, 2010 at 1:54 am

    iPhones are distracting. When they finally implant them into our brains, everything will be soooooo much better.

    • paddyK

      March 8, 2010 at 7:55 pm

      Shit Glen, I could almost understand that honey blog post you did. You’re slipping up, man!

  3. ladyfi

    March 7, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    Good pic.. Just think what wonderful photos you could take with an iPhone! ;-)

    • paddyK

      March 8, 2010 at 7:59 pm

      With 1,030,000 hits for “iphone camera sucks” I doubt it.

  4. Bellis

    March 9, 2010 at 12:45 am

    Paddy, just now, visiting your blog to see if there were any further comments (there were), I was struck by the title of this blog post.

    Girls using iPhones.

    As I have mentioned, I work in the publishing industry. And that title strikes me as a damn good one not only for a blog post, but for a very up to date, modern novel. Or, for that matter, a pop- or rock-song.

    No, I honestly mean it. Not being ironic.

    This has just been a sudden thought, hereby communicated to the outside world.

    All the best,

    • paddyK

      March 9, 2010 at 1:25 pm

      Yes, I know! As a hopeful writer myself I always like phrases that would make good titles. I might even do the novel myself, once I have finished my chick-lit (or dick-lit) novel. So then, do you know anybody looking to publish a dick-lit novel about Irish guys in Stockholm..? ;)

      • Rolf

        March 9, 2010 at 5:36 pm

        “do you know anybody looking to publish a dick-lit novel about Irish guys in Stockholm..? ;)”

        Perhaps this one:

        They sell a t-shirt with the very legend “Real men shave their balls with an angle grinder”. But you have to have that certain touch. I tried it out with my dad’s grinder when I was fifteen and the guys at school called me a hirsute arborean missing link. Since then I ain’t got no balls…


      • Bellis

        March 9, 2010 at 6:35 pm

        “So then, do you know anybody looking to publish a dick-lit novel about Irish guys in Stockholm..? ;)”

        This has to be one of the narrowest genres I’ve encountered so far – I mean, with the addition of “Irish guys in Stockholm”! :-)

        I promise, as soon as I hear an editor at a publishing house jump up and cry out: “I want a dick-lit novel about Irish guys in Stockholm!”, I’ll send him or her straight to you!

        But don’t hold your breath…

        All the best,

      • paddyK

        March 9, 2010 at 6:45 pm

        Let’s see then, scratch Bellis from the book launch party…

    • christinaseehusen

      March 9, 2010 at 3:23 pm

      Erh, slight reminder to “girls on film” by Duran Duran?
      Damn long instrumental intro 1 min. 43 sec. But as a man probably worth the wait as the girls in sexy lingerie are engaged in pillowfight, pouring champagne on themselves, stripping, giving massage in sexy nurse dress, mudd fight, ice on nipples et c.

      • Melliferax

        March 9, 2010 at 5:54 pm

        …wow. That was …

        I especially like the part with the black guy engaging in pony play. As the pony.

  5. Rolf

    March 9, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    Bellis :
    I promise, as soon as I hear an editor at a publishing house jump up and cry out: “I want a dick-lit novel about Irish guys in Stockholm!”, I’ll send him or her straight to you!

    *That* is what I call a double entendre… :-)


    • paddyK

      March 9, 2010 at 6:46 pm

      I’m not seeing it Rolf. Really, I’m not.

  6. Rolf

    March 9, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    paddyK :
    I’m not seeing it Rolf. Really, I’m not.

    Sorry. The “logic” goes like this: The editor guy wants a dick-lit novel about Irish guys, so obviously he’s probably not straight. So Bellis, the proverbial straight guy, is going to *make* him straight before he sends him to you. Bellis is going to send the guy *as a straight guy* to you. :-)


    • Bellis

      March 9, 2010 at 7:46 pm

      Yeah, yeah, but please note that the same thing goes if the editor happens to be lady. And I’m sure Paddy would rather have a straight lady coming to his home to “discuss the book”, especially if she is as young and good-looking as most lady editors tend to be these days (no joke, they really are!). :-)

      Now, Paddy, you are not presently engaged, I hope… If you are, I’ll take care of “discussions” about the book, posing as your agent!

      (This has been the male chauvinist pig comment of the day. Enjoy.)

      All the best,

  7. Bellis

    March 9, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    “So Bellis, the proverbial straight guy…”

    While we’re on the subject, this is actually an interesting point.

    Seriously, now.

    Rolf, who has known me for a number of years (I forget how many), is, I daresay, right in his assessment. But there is a strange addendum to this in present day society.

    You can’t be flat out straight, to bleedin’ 150% actually, without having loads of people telling you that you are a closet gay and secretly afraid of your real nature. Which I find remarkable, to say the least.

    Would anyone, turning the tables, say the same thing to somebody who is wholly gay by nature?

    Just like a gay person who has come out of the closet, I have no qualms about being open about my sexual orientation. And neither of us should have any such qualms. (Brilliant will be the day when the closets are all gone.)

    But there is one further thing to take into consideration. Intellectually, I am not in the least homophobic. What any consenting adults do in their own bedroom is totally their own business and nobody else’s. But I am emotionally homophobic, meaning that I would never even consider performing any sexual act whatsoever with another man. I just couldn’t stomach it, not under any circumstances I could think of. Really.

    This happens to be my nature. Which is frequently construed as me being so secretely gay that I don’t even realize it myself.

    Go figure.

    Anybody else with similar experiences? Where does this point of view come from, anway?

    All the best,

    • Rolf

      March 9, 2010 at 10:59 pm

      My impression is that gay or straight is not the bipolar either-or that some think, but rather a continuous distribution, like the statistical bell curve, for instance. At the end points you have the 100% gay who thinks women are great, but wouldn’t ever get the idea that he would be sexually aroused by them (even if he might be, if it happened to him), and the 100% straight who thinks men are great, but wouldn’t ever get the idea that he would be sexually aroused by them (even if he might be, if it happened to him). Between those end points you have all kinds of measurements of “bisexuality”. (All this goes for women too, of course.)

      Then we have the myth of masculinity that says that to be a real man you have to be hard, brutal, without feelings, et c. Anything that seems less than totally macho is a threat to that masculinity and they have to dissociate themselves from it. Hobbies like collecting stamps, growing potted plants (not to mention orchids!), drinking cherry beer, dancing, et c will make them accuse you of being a homosexual, even threaten to beat you up. Some have a taboo of touching a man at all. Some will even kill themselves rather than talk to a wife or friend enough to get support when they are blue. Not to mention crying! You can’t even be decent to these guys because they’ll throw a fit and accuse you of being gay. It seems to me that this reaction in its extremity is an acquired or learnt hysteria.

      When this type of man is confronted with experiencing something like this in himself he will be afraid to discover that he is gay himself (even though he isn’t), so he will react forcibly to push the matter away from himself.

      That type of behaviour is quite common, so my guess is that when people suspect you of being very closet gay, they are making the mistake of suspecting that you are a heterosexual, afraid of facing the “wimp” part of your self, when in fact you are only very heterosexual.

      Then of course there are those who are gay or bisexual, who have been trained in this masculine myth, and act closet because they are afraid of facing the facts. It is of course possible that this is what they believe about you.

      In both cases especially since you yourself very loudly hype the myth of your machoinity. :-)

      When you meet a friend you haven’t seen for a very long time, will you give him “a manly hug” as “long time no see”? There are lots of people who would see no difference between that and “I would never even consider performing any sexual act whatsoever with another man. I just couldn’t stomach it, not under any circumstances I could think of.”. They would know that you’re gay, and if you leave that pub together, they would be there waiting for you, to beat you up.

      It’s not uncommon in Sweden to see a man and a woman kissing, standing in a queue or the escalator or whatever. It’s almost cute actually. I don’t even have to pay to look… :-)

      Now, what’s your opinion on that situation? Should they do that only in private (“in their own bedroom”), or is it okay that they do it publicly? If it were two men kissing, would that be okay at the same place?

      “Would anyone, turning the tables, say the same thing to somebody who is wholly gay by nature?”

      I don’t know. I would suspect they might say something like “come on, you don’t know what you are missing. You might even like it.” Remember all the heterosexual guys who enjoy looking at two women making out, “because those women are only doing it because they can’t get any men that night”? They take it for granted that those gals are not lesbians, and the guys looking insist that they are not having a homosexual fantasy out of it…

      It’s very important for me not to be a hysteric, partly because with the macho training I got, it took me until the thirties/forties before I was mature enough to give a friend a “long time no see”-hug. When I did my military service and we were trained to walk in single line the officers told us “no gay distances!”. Swedish man has come a long way since the stone age…


  8. Bellis

    March 10, 2010 at 4:33 am


    your comment is so long that I will limit myself to a few points.

    Now, to begin with, I am, by birth and culturally speaking, a Greek man (more so than Swedish, although I’m half Swedish – my values are Greek). I frequently hug and kiss my male friends on boths cheeks, since that is not a sexual act, but merely an act of friendship. That is what we do here in Greece, and I have no qualms whatsoever about it.

    As for crying, I don’t regard that as umanly at all. Have you read Iliada and Odyssea? The great heroes in the epic works of Homeros’ frequently cry. And those of us not being heroes but Greeks have done so ever since. This is not unmanly or unwomanly, in any way. On the contrary, Greece is a country where you show your feelings openly, without shame. And by the way, this is why I think most Swedish people are fuckin’ stiff and stuck up, because they are so incredibly “correct” or whatever. Never show your feelings, always be in self-control. You know, what the English call the stiff upper lip. Well, I’ll have none of it. If I feel something – whether I’m angry or sad or in love or happy or what have you – I’m going to fuckin’ show it. Without any shame whatsoever.

    On the other hand, if I hype my “machoinity” (what exactly does that mean?), it might be because I happen not to be a freakin’ sissy. I was brought up Greek, which means that I will not fall into a heap and cry if somebody threatens to punch me in the mouth. I will punch back, instead. I don’t really understand the position of turning the other cheek, since that would just make me the other person’s slave or whatever. Not my style. In other words, I’m no Gandhi.

    That said, I’ve been in precious few bar brawls in my life, and I never hit first. Never ever. I prefer to try and cool the situation down verbally, but if that fails – well, what am I to do? What?

    All the best,

  9. paddyK

    March 10, 2010 at 7:04 pm

    Bellis and Rolf: I feel I should interject with a comment, but you seem to be doing just fine without me. And by the way, well done on the Longest Comment Ever award, Rolf. The statuette is on its way.

    • Rolf

      March 10, 2010 at 7:33 pm

      Lovely! How long do I keep it? A year or until I’m dethroned?

      But Paddy, beware. You encourage me, I might write an even longer comment. :-)


  10. Poker Navigate

    March 11, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    xex Iphone rullz mate.:)

    • paddyK

      March 11, 2010 at 10:26 pm

      What the fuck are you? Can’t even BOTS spell anymore?


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