Ash Thursday

The big news today of course is the vast cloud of volcanic nastiness heading across the Atlantic, taking every plane out of the sky because of the risk of ash particles clogging the engines, turning to glass and causing quite a mess.

Among the travel refugees are H10 and his mum, stuck in Dublin for a few days since all flights out of the Fair City were cancelled. Not the worst city to be stuck in, of course; they could do a lot worse, like Stanstead, or pretty much anything with “Ryanair” painted over the doors.

But what most people have failed to notice is this is clearly the start of a horror movie; I mean, dangerous cloud moves across Europe, causing panic in its wake – come on, what else could it be?

Any day now we’ll have giant ants, and mutated moose, and hordes of Ryanair cabin staff turned into zombies and stumbling about with a desire to push our luggage under the seat, show us the exits and then consume our brains.

You know where you heard it first.

/ paddy

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20 thoughts on “Ash Thursday

  1. Rumours have it that Frankenstein’s monster, who escaped to Iceland lo these many years, only to fall down into a glacier to be deep frozen, has awakened because of the heat from the volcano. He is now on the rampage, trying to incite the neighbouring, much bigger and more dangerous, volcano to erupt, as a revenge on all those who have made him suffer so much. Meanwhile, back at Arlanda International Airport (Official Love Airport 2010 because of the Royal Wedding in Sweden in June, but *not* the Capital of Scandinavia, which is nothing but a tawdry marketing concept) people who have been spending the night at the airport sleeping on the sofas are beginning to wake up with small red marks on their throats and a burning thirst for blood. Airport authorities have stated that rumours about vampires are nothing but old fashioned superstition. What will happen next?

    cheers/Rolf

  2. Paddy at his best. This is one of my favourite coffee-time blogs.

    I hope H10 is ok. Like you said, it could be worse. If I could choose where to be stuck (which is a silly statement really because how can anyone choose where to be stuck), a pub in Dublin would definitely be one of my choices.

    Bring on the Horror B movies.

    • Thank! They are stuck for another while, until at least Monday. But hey, they have fish and chips. H10 might not be here for his birthday though, and that sucks.

  3. Well, only yesterday they had to cancel 17 000 European flights because of that nasty cloud that’s also turning you lot in Northern Europe into giant ants.

    I’m not planning on succumbing to the poisonous cloud, however, because it won’t reach Greece. Instead I’m going to feel a whole lot better boarding my next flight, in view of all the flights that have been cancelled and thus saving us from an enormous amount of climate changing emissions. So what will one or two little flights matter after all these cancelled flights, right?!

    But wait a sec. I am going to feel a whole lot better *boarding* the flight, but what if the cabin staff all turn out to be Ryanair-zombies and all the other passengers giant ants…

    Ok, b-horror movie turned reality, here I come…

    All the best,
    Bellis

    • “I’m not planning on succumbing to the poisonous cloud, however, because it won’t reach Greece.”

      Ha!

      As for the rampaging giant ants in Stockholm, the situation is going from worse to atrocious. The ants are ripping out all the telephone line poles and road lighting poles, to build ant nests. Even Rob’s Place has been evacuated. The ants have established a nest in their sub cellar.

      Will you come to Stockholm to help the patriotic resistance fighters?

      cheers/Rolf

      • Rolf:

        “Will you come to Stockholm to help the patriotic resistance fighters?”

        Nah, it’s too nice and lazily comfortable here in wonderful Greece.

        Do you think it’ll do if I send a force of our giant, Greek cockroaches instead? They are quite awesomely huge with or without poisonous cloud, and we’d just be happy to get rid of a sizable gang of them! Trust me, the Swedish giant ants will be seen running away, screaming at the top of their lungs! You didn’t think ants even could scream, now did you?! Well, wait until they’ve laid eyes on the Greek elite cockroaches!

        Drive a hard,
        Bellis

  4. Bellis :
    Do you think it’ll do if I send a force of our giant, Greek cockroaches instead? They are quite awesomely huge with or without poisonous cloud, and we’d just be happy to get rid of a sizable gang of them!

    Your roaches won’t take step one beyond our immigration authorities. Even if they show up their dying little eggs, we’ll still send them back. But your idea is basically sound. We’ll try feeding radioactive surströmming to our swedish wolf packs. That might do the trick.

    cheers/Rolf

    • Oh, Paddy. That is a surefire sign. You have breathed too much of the Islandic volcanic smoke already. You are turning into a giant ant. Slowly losing the ability to understand the written word… and now that I look closer, I can distinctly see som ant-like features in your photograph here on the blog that weren’t there before…

      Oh, my.

      Well, good luck under the new circumstances and keep away from the giant Greek cockroaches when they show up!

      All the best,
      Bellis

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