I must say, I quite dislike 3D. Not the universe, I mean – reality is fine in 3D, I have no problem with that at all. Not much anyway. Euclidean space (most of it) can rest easy.
No I mean 3D movies. I am, quite simply, getting sick to the teeth of them. The problem is that a 3D movie is built to be not a movie, but a 3D movie. This means that less time is put on things like plot and characters and more is put on the finding of new ways to thrown spinny objects towards the camera.
It’s getting to the point where the “in 3D!” tag-line is making me avoid movies completely as I know I will prefer to see them in flat-o-vision. And I know they won’t be as good as a regular flat movie, so what’s the point?
Plus I dislike the paraphernalia. The red and green glasses didn’t really cut it, and the new polarised glasses are not much better. For one thing, they make the image too dark and I always end up squinting and removing the things to make out any details.
The only movie I’ve seen worth a damn in 3D was Avatar, and that because it was an awesome movie. The 3D definitely added to it, but it would be just as good in 2D, and I know because I spent most of the movie with my glasses off, trying to see what the hell was going on. I mean, seriously, do we need long 3D scenes of people sitting around in labs and taking? Why, exactly?
There are of course many reasons for the sudden flood of 3D movies these days. I can think of a few:
1) To get us to pay more for cinema tickets.
2) To cut down on piracy.
3) To allows studios to tart up otherwise mediocre movies.
Note that nowhere in this list does “improve the customers’ experience” appear because we all know that is bollox. If the studios are giving us movies in 3D it’s because some cunt somewhere is making a sackful of money from it. And that sure as hell isn’t us, and it never will be us.
To prove my point, I ask you all to go see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. Then go and see it in 2D. You see? It’s just as shit both ways. And you didn’t even have to get a headache.
/ paddy (who, when the 3D porn starts coming, will probably just have to leave the planet entirely)