New Year’s Resolutions

I’ll start by ignoring how many of last year’s resolutions I did or did not complete. I did finish the book though. And, um, I didn’t die. And I didn’t get dumped. Oh wait….

Okay then, here’s the new ones. For what it’s worth.

  1. Not die. I figure this is do-able.
  2. Finish the novel I’ve been working on for 6 years that’s almost done.
  3. Go to Amsterdam, London and Barcelona.
  4. Turn 40 while still in possession of my hair and teeth.
  5. Meet a genuine person who won’t FUCKING DUMP MY ASS.
  6. Learn to dance Lindy Hop properly.
  7. Make deep-fried Mars bars. Possibly wrapped in bacon.

You may notice there’s nothing in there about fitness or weight. That’s because I’m now totally buffed and in great shape. So screw you, unfit losers.

Anything else I missed? If so feel free to throw them at me. Or tell me your own resolutions. Or tell me anything else you feel like, just to get some comment action going and drag this whole thing out just a little bit longer. Because we all want that don’t we?

Meh. January.

/ paddy

22 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolutions

  1. I’m a genuine person (as well as a collection of pixels) and I won’t dump your ass. On t’other hand I’m already booked and paid for.


    That wasn’t what you meant, was it?

    My resolution was made on the 2nd and is therefore already gloriously broken: it’s to work on my dissertation every single day. Today’s contribution was fart-arsing around getting PDFpro to work on my iPad. Essential to scholarship, obviously.

    Happy New Year you cantankerous buzzard. I like it when you blog. Can’t you have a bloggy resolution, please?



  2. The first time I heard about deep-fried Oreos I was horrified. These days nothing can shock me, it seems. Well, until somebody I know admitted to eating SQUID.

    (I’m a very picky eater, and also, vegetarian simply because most animals gross me out.)

    I adore number 1, 2 and 6 on this list.

    And I will soon get to reading your draft, I promise! It has been a crazy, crazy autumn.

    • That’s a good reason for being vegetarian. I just hope you aren’t one of those “I’m vegetarian but I eat fish” people. Which is like the stupidest loophole ever.

      And wait with the book! I am now doing a few revisions. So the draft you have isn’t the latest one. It will be done in a week or so.

      • I’m not a vegetarian but I eat almost no fish, because I’m a so called (by the “I don’t give a damn about anyone but myself-guys”) politically correct person who wants to save the world. Is that worse than vegetarians who eat fish? Or better?
        But to be honest I do eat fish once in a while. It’s too good not to eat! I just try to eat more meat, and veggies… hm… (not a new years resolution btw).

  3. Did I miss something? The Resolutions’ post is only in the recent posts’ links, not in your homepage?

    My new year’s resolution is always not to make any new years’ resolutions…


  4. Maybe that should be my resolution this year: Eat a deep-fried Mars bar. (Or for that matter, to try out this “deep-friend Mars bar” technique people have been raving about. Are there diagrams? No wait, nevermind, I’ll google.)

  5. Ok. Here it is: I will do yoga at least once a week.
    I already blew it, since I caught a cold. But I will do more yoga than last year (eeeesy, I only did five times the whole year. Shame on me!).
    Oh, and I will date more. Not hard either (is that the trick? Your trick? Only make promises that are easy to keep?)

    • That’s my secret! Only wish for what will probably happen.

      And about the fish – I agree 100%. Eating fish is terrible, given that the fish are fucked. Eat bloody cows if you have to eat something meaty! Or lambs. And I don’t care how fucking cute they are. Cute won’t save the oceans.

      • And fish are really, really, really cute too…
        I carried a herring around for a whole day when I was a (tiny) kid, “titten” (fisken), my mum had to put it in a plastic bag eventually because of the smell. I guess I developed strong feelings for fish at a young age.
        Yey, save tha oceans (people who still eat eel are stupid and/or evil).

  6. What’s wrong with you people?
    Fish are no more fucked than any other edible creature on this planet, maybe even less so since they are (mostly) not mistreated their whole life before they are killed and devoured. I blame the people that are mistreating animals, not the principle of eating meat. Me, I’ll eat anything with a face this year (too). And learn to play the bodhran. Preferrably at the same time just to annoy the wife.

    • Um, excuse me, but you’re wrong here. Fish ARE fucked. The oceans are being dredged of life and fish are facing extinction. How they are treated is irrelevant in this discussion. Soon there won’t be any more fish. Do you think this is okay? Cows as a species are fine, there are loads of cows. As for pigs and sheep. But fish are on the way out. Discuss.

      Bodhrans are nice. They are made from the skin of Irish goats. And being Irish, I can tell you that they are NOT treated well over there…

  7. Ok, I’ll meet you half way here, since I’m a male and thus unable of admitting that I am wrong, which I’m not, obviously. *Some* species of fish are facing extinction, and that’s a sad fact. All species are not. Not unless we pollute the shit out of the oceans, which also is looking more and more like a sad fact. Sailing around in a bloody green goop in the middle of the northern Baltic last summer scared the shit out of me.

    Me eating a couple of sea creatures will not affect the outcome very much, at least compared to the vast masses of fish that are converted to animal fodder, land fill, fuel (probably) and fertilizer. I don’t eat tuna or norwegian testosterone trout. And I don’t consider the treatment of animals irrelevant – even in this discussion. We use animals since we are able to, but we should not use them wrongly (and yes, that goes for fish as well).

    Due to economic reasons I had to buy my bodhran from the Far East so no irish goat did suffer for my sake. A kid in a sweat shop + a dog or opossum is more likely…
    It’s sad that the poor irish goats live a life of misery. Please whack a goat owner of your choice over the head with regards from me next time you visit Ireland!

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