The Royal We

20 May

This week saw the Queen (of the United Kingdom and the blah blah) visit Ireland for the first time in living memory. Or my memory, at least. It all went splendidly. The old girl made a big effort to heal old wounds and even spouted a few words of Irish (known in the newspapers as ‘Gaelic’). She even sat through bloody Riverdance with a straight face. Nice one the Queen. We are not amused, but we are most certainly pleased.

This Segways me nicely (at a slow rolling pace) onto my actual topic, the use of “we” by people in relationships. You know what I mean. You ask a workmate “so what are you doing at the weekend?” And the answer will begin with “Well, we are…”

Hold it there, big boy. I didn’t ask what you plural are doing, I asked what YOU are doing. As in, you yourself. Why do I have to get an answer that includes a person I might not even know? It’s like you asked me what my plans were and I decide to inform you about the weekend plans of a nine-year old boy in Perth.

And tell me this. At what point in a relationship do a great many people stop seeing themselves as individuals? Does it creep up on them, or is it a conscious decision? Is it around the same time they get a shared email address? And start going to the gym in pairs? And start sending out Christmas cards with a photo of them both grinning like morons? Maybe somebody can explain.

I could also go into the practice of using photos of your offspring as your Facebook profile pic, and of informing the world on an hourly basis how much porridge little Glen threw on the floor this morning. I won’t though, because then you’ll all think I’m a baby-hater and a grumpy old bastard. Whereas I’m not. Babies are lovely. Asleep.

Now where’s those fuckin’ slippers and me best pipe.

/ paddy


Posted by on May 20, 2011 in Life, Ranting, Society


Tags: , , ,

9 responses to “The Royal We

  1. Mark Baxter

    May 20, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    “We’re pregnant”.

    • paddyK

      May 20, 2011 at 10:58 pm

      I hope he’ll do the right thing by you, Mark.

  2. Bellis

    May 20, 2011 at 10:49 pm

    On the queen’s visit. It’s been a hundred years since a royal visit from England to Ireland, and at that time Ireland was occupied by the British. But you knew this, right?

    As for this visit, one might hope that it heralds better relations between the Irish and the British, although get this – it cost Ireland 30 million pounds. This when the country is in the midst of a severe, financial slump.

    Why didn’t the queen, one of the richest people in the world, pay her own way?

    The rest of us do, when we visit other countries.

    All the best,

    P.S. As for your main topic, I’ve got nothing much to say except that language is a strange animal. D.S.

    • paddyK

      May 20, 2011 at 11:00 pm

      Maybe they hoped somebody would kill her so they could claim the insurance money.

  3. Sean Mulroy

    May 20, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    She did not pay her own way cos she was invited….simples.
    Paddy…you need a girlfriend….

    • paddyK

      May 20, 2011 at 11:03 pm

      And you need a… a… goatee….

  4. Sean Mulroy

    May 20, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    That cuts deep…real deep….

  5. OR Melling

    May 26, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    HELP! I’m locked out of It’s in Chinese or Japanese, for starters, and there’s no link-box to change it back into English. They sent me a help message in Chinese or Japanese but needless to say I can’t read it. I have tried going in the back door via changing my password but that doesn’t work either. The password is reset but I’m still locked out. Tried the help forums — omigod are they useless or what?! Anyone got any ideas? I’m only able to post here as it’s linked to my website not my blog.

  6. Patti

    May 28, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    One redeeming quality of the Danish language – it distinguishes between the singular ‘you’ and the plural ‘you’. Not that it prevents anyone from changing it when they answer mind you!


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