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Death Star Whitewash

06 Jan

The power of the media is immense, especially when it comes to conflicts. It is not difficult to make your own side look like heroes, no matter what atrocities they commit. Consider, for example, the Death Star.

sci-fi-7.jpg

In the first Star Wars movie the rebels steal some plans and then destroy the Death Star space station. A quick web search reveals how many people were actually on the Death Star at the time:

  • 265,675 Station crew
  • 52,276 gunners
  • 607,360 troops
  • 25,984 Stormtroopers
  • 42,782 ship support staff
  • 167,216 pilots and support crew

That’s over a million people, and that’s only a conservative estimate. A million people. Excuse me, just how fucking cold-blooded are these rebels? They kill a million people and then fly back to their planet and then they give out medals?

What about the million mothers all over the Empire who lose their children, most of whom were probably conscripted? Not to mention the people who are just doing their jobs: the cleaners, and programmers, and dishwashers, and pizza chefs, and all the prisoners in the holding cells. All suddenly dead, because of upper-class twits like Princess Leia, and her lofty ideas about restoring the “old order” where her family and people like them were the ones in charge.

So the rebels think this is the way to win popular opinion – to kill a million people? Many of the Death Star military who died were probably soldiers during the old Republic and simply became the new military when the Emperor took over. And the cold-blooded bastards kill them too – thousands of their own ex-colleagues – and then they have a fucking party?

death_star.jpgLuke Skywalker is a terrorist, guilty of massive crimes against humanity. And all of the rebels are terrorists, pure and simple, by any definition you care to use. These guys do not agree with the present democratically elected government as they are far too secular for their tastes, and so they go around recruiting farm boys like Skywalker and his buddies as X-wing cannon fodder to fight and restore the ancient theocracy and the “old ways”.

And is the Empire “evil”? Well from what we see in Epiosde 3, Palpatine appears to have been democratically elected. Sure, his regime has a fascist tinge to it, but all of the military we see in the original movies are efficient and honourable, and not at all corrupt. And just try and find a military without a fascist tinge to it.

And what did this “Evil Empire” displace? A society managed as some kind of new-age feudal system, where an accident of birth (in this case the ability to be a Jedi) guarantees you rights and privileges above all others, as well as full legal immunity. The Jedi seem to be above the law, answer to nobody and are only interested in having their religion replace all other ideologies and use it to “keep the peace”or, in other words, rule everybody forever.

It truly amazes me how these bellicose fundamentalists can be depicted as “good” and then everybody goes along with it and spends 3 movies clapping their adventures. Me included. Aren’t we all terribly terribly smart?

/ paddy

 
112 Comments

Posted by on January 6, 2008 in Culture, Ranting

 

112 responses to “Death Star Whitewash

  1. Martin R

    January 6, 2008 at 12:18 am

    Damn right!

     
  2. James Barlow

    January 6, 2008 at 12:18 am

    Yeah, and don’t get me started on those Bloody Ewoks coming over here taking our jobs…

     
  3. Mythprogrammer

    January 6, 2008 at 12:21 am

    lol didnt the death star start it first by blowing up a planet? :P

     
  4. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 12:25 am

    James: Luckily, the Ewoks all died in the eco-disaster which followed the second Death Star’s destruction. See here:

    http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/framed.htm?parent=death-star.htm

     
  5. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 12:27 am

    Mythprogrammer: Not just a planet, but a planet full of terrorist supporters, so that was OK. The US have been using that logic for decades and getting away with it.

     
  6. Larry

    January 6, 2008 at 1:31 am

    * 265,675 Station crew
    * 52,276 gunners
    * 607,360 troops
    * 25,984 Stormtroopers
    * 42,782 ship support staff
    * 167,216 pilots and support crew

    Most of these numbers were clones so who cares about their families.

     
  7. Kevin Smith Did It First

    January 6, 2008 at 1:45 am

    Been watching Clerks much?

     
  8. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 1:46 am

    Larry:Well by the same reasoning, it would be OK if it was a million orphans. Right? And how do you know they were all clones? The clone troopers I saw in the movies were all pretty dumb, and not exactly station crew material.

     
  9. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 1:47 am

    Kevin Smith Did It First: Oh, how smart you are, putting in a cultural reference like that. Nice one. Yes of course I saw Clerks. That doesn’t make the point less valid though.

     
  10. miller

    January 6, 2008 at 1:53 am

    no it doesn’t make the point less valid, makes it less original, since all you did was take his musings then add some numbers

     
  11. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 2:01 am

    miller: Your point being that every blog post has to be completely original to be worth writing?

    Anyway, here is the Death Star scene from clerks. His points are very different to mine. So which part of this scene have I stolen? I’m waiting…

    http://www.whysanity.net/monos/clerks5.html

     
  12. Hban

    January 6, 2008 at 2:54 am

    I think the problem is you should have given credit where credit was due. The idea was Smith’s, not yours.

     
  13. Phil Russell

    January 6, 2008 at 4:17 am

    Lol! Life-imitating art-imitating hollywod execs…

     
  14. Coruscant Crusader

    January 6, 2008 at 4:54 am

    What about Alderan? Wake up sheeple! Alderan was an inside job!

     
  15. burtonator

    January 6, 2008 at 6:36 am

    Dude. When you take a job in a HUGE GUN THE SIZE OF A FREAKIN PLANET I think you kind of come to term with the fact that you *might* have a dangerous job :)

    Kevin

     
  16. Johnny Walker

    January 6, 2008 at 6:45 am

    Didn’t the Death Star blow up a whole fucking planet? I’d say they were complicit in it’s destruction and as accomplices deserve to die as well.

    Oh and Red in case you were wondering…

     
  17. Kevin Smith Did it First

    January 6, 2008 at 7:14 am

    It doesn’t make the point less valid. It just makes you look like a hack to not even mention that Smith presented it first in Clerks.

     
  18. creeping fascism

    January 6, 2008 at 9:41 am

    And did you also know that the empire is modelled after the nazis? still think the empire ain’t so bad?

    WAKE UP PEOPLE

     
  19. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 10:40 am

    Hban, Kevin Smith Did it First: Once again, my points are not at all the same as Smiths. Read the link. What, I’m supposed to give credit to somebody who talks about something slightly similar to what I talk about? And draws different conclusions?

    And Mr. “Kevin Smith Did it First” – if I’m a hack, then let me see something YOU have written and lets compare the quality. Deal?

    creeping fascism: The Nazis were also democratically elected. Like the Empire. Were you?

     
  20. jessi

    January 6, 2008 at 10:48 am

    those poor pizza chefs

     
  21. jessi

    January 6, 2008 at 10:50 am

    p.s. LOL @ Coruscant Crusader

     
  22. Genn

    January 6, 2008 at 11:25 am

    The both sides were (will be? ;)) terrorists more or less. Though it’s hard to rule such huge thing as Empire without any signs of dictatorship. Looks like they had exaggerated Russia (USSR, when the movie was created) and then got the hard mix of US and ancient Japan — new dictatorship. I wouldn’t compare it to Third Reich, ’cause Gitler lost after all. Nicht wahr? ;)

     
  23. LP

    January 6, 2008 at 11:36 am

    I think we’re missing the big picture here. Don’t be a sheep like the Empire would want you to be. They’re only trying to distract you from the truth.

    The Death Star was an inside job. The destruction of the Death Star was executed with military precision by the Empire and then the rebels were used as a patsy. The Emperor then used the insurance from the Destruction of the Death Star to construct a second Death Star.

    Need more proof? Consider that Darth Vader and the Emperor were conveniently off the Death Star at the time of its destruction. It’s also interesting to note that Darth Vader, the Emperor, Yoda, Luke Skywalker, and Obi Wan Kenobi all adhere to an ancient, cult-like religious view. But most shocking of all? Luke Skywalker is the son of Darth Vader.

    Spread the truth.

     
  24. LP

    January 6, 2008 at 11:37 am

    It’s also interesting to note that Obi Wan Kenobi was reported to have been killed by Darth Vader, yet his remains were never recovered.

     
  25. Angry Chinese Driver

    January 6, 2008 at 11:44 am

    What was cut from the history books were the scenes of the fighters getting piss-drunk to the point of severe alcohol poisoning just to escape their guilt of having taken part in mass murder, justified or not. I’ll bet that Luke turned to crack cocaine, too.

     
  26. CS

    January 6, 2008 at 11:51 am

    It is a super weapon made to control the galaxy out of fear… And you are supporting it?

    Also “one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter”.
    Death Star blew up a planet suspected of holding the rebels and the such. But applying your logic there would of course be civilians who shouldn’t be killed. Also they would have mothers all across the galaxy.

     
  27. Tha Square

    January 6, 2008 at 11:55 am

    i think its time for another revolution! its no longer the for the people, by the people, its for the us government, on the back of thse less inclined! hell, the last us revolution was about taxees, why not start a new over over the fact our current goverenment is killing innocent people?!

     
  28. Phil Russell

    January 6, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    Far be it from me to have a continuing discussion with a (female) pink Grimace McDonalds character who blogs online, but…

    creeping fascism: The Nazis were also democratically elected. Like the Empire. Were you?

    How about this: Democracy doesn’t kill people, people kill people.

    Now doesn’t that neatly separate my saintly-hood from my debauchery?

    Right?

     
  29. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Phil Russell: Grimace?!? That’s Barbapappa! Honestly, some people…

     
  30. deftoned

    January 6, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    You get a medal for this post! And you didn’t have to kill a million people to do so. ;)

     
  31. starwarsfreak

    January 6, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Luckily it’s only a movie, but I don’t know about you all about killing about 1 million ‘CLONES’ is evil or not. I won’t think twice to kill if I see another Bobba Fett.

    Moreover, when DS blasted Alderaan(Princess Leia’s home planet) into smithereens, do you have any info how many ‘REAL’ death were there? :)

     
  32. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    starwarsfreak: They weren’t ANY “real” deaths, because they were all fictional. Hah!

    But apparently it was 500 billion. Which is rather a lot for one planet–the overcrowding must have been terrible.

     
  33. riveroflifelisajoy

    January 6, 2008 at 1:53 pm

    lol!

     
  34. Elektr0

    January 6, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    I don’t see a listing of the droid causalities. Droids are people too! :P

     
  35. zionismkills

    January 6, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    # creeping fascism Says:
    January 6, 2008 at 9:41 am

    And did you also know that the empire is modelled after the nazis? still think the empire ain’t so bad?
    ==========================

    It’s actually based on Marxist totalitarianism, like old Soviet Russia. The soviets killed over 100 million people, while NS Germany is attributed to 100 million (6 being Jews).

    Hell, the 6 million number is not even accurate, and anyone who is willing to look into NON-Jewish sources about the holocaust will come to that obvious conclusion. For a small example of what I’m referring to, go to YouTube.com and search for videos by a Jew named David Cole. He visits Auschwitz and records the whole thing, getting answers to questions that only a Jew could get from an Auschwitz tour guide.

     
  36. zionismkills

    January 6, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    CORRECTION**

    I meant that NS Germany killed 10 million, not 100 million.

     
  37. Mikael Bergkvist

    January 6, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    You sir, are a moron.
    There’s a difference between guerilla warfare and terrorism, one targets military installations specifically, the other aims to create fear by targeting civilians.
    People die in any war, but that’s not the point, it’s whether the people being targeted themselves are soldiers or not.
    Only americans and / or fundamentalist muslims would fail to see that difference and we all know whay that has lead to.

     
  38. No one important

    January 6, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    I guess Obi-Wan was right when he said ‘Many of the truths that we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view’.

     
  39. BiblioBuster

    January 6, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    paddyK: Funny to discover the photo of Barbapapa that I shot, on your profile. It’s totally OK, but maybe you’re interested in some extra information as: the photo is shot in a small public library in Sweden, Håbo bibliotek, and this one Barbapapa is the mascot of the children’s section of the library. ;)

     
  40. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    BiblioBuster: Thanks for the info! I don’t even remember where the pic came from. Long live Barbapappa!

     
  41. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    Mikael Bergkvist: You said “You sir, are a moron. There’s a difference between guerilla warfare and terrorism, one targets military installations specifically, the other aims to create fear by targeting civilians.”

    Very true. Still, one million dead is a little over the top for a guerilla action, don’t you think?

    And I am a moron. But I’m getting better.

     
  42. iPhone Hellas

    January 6, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    LoL !!! Nice post paddy!

     
  43. willa107

    January 6, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    Wow! You’ve stirred some real porridge.

     
  44. Bill

    January 6, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Mikael Bergkvist got it right. The Death Star was a military installation, and thus a rebel attack on it is guerilla warfare rather than terrorism.

     
  45. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    Bill: Blast you all, bringing in your logic and definitions! But yes, you nailed me there.

    But how come an attack on an American military installation is almost always counted as terrorism in the media, or at least as being made by “illegal combatants”? Isn’t that a bit odd?

     
  46. ianwayne

    January 6, 2008 at 7:32 pm

    I’m pretty sure that the empire is not a democracy. If memory serves me right, Palpatine was elected, but he then did away with the republic so that he could serve as emperor for life.

    And the Empire isn’t the nice friendly organization that you make it out to be. Remember that Anakin Skywalker perpetrated his own terrorist activities when he killed the Jedis.

     
  47. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    ianwayne: No, it’s not a democracy in the original movies, but Palpatine WAS democratically elected in the first place. And I don’t anywhere claim that the Empire is “friendly”.

    My main point is that the portrayal of the Empire as “totally evil” and the rebels as “totally good” is very biased, and it’s quite amazing that we all go along with it. Both sides have their agendas and use violence to further their aims.

     
  48. emptymindedgirl

    January 6, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    An awesome post!
    And the comments are equally as entertaining; but I must admit: I stopped reading the early on due to so many citing Kevin Smith as the originator of this idea.
    My own father, who was in the military at the time, made very similar statements with each film release (4,5,&6).
    So, screw Kevin Smith. All props go to my dad!

    See how stupid it is to claim one person in recent times was the only one EVER to have thought of this?

    Again, excellent post ;)

     
  49. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    emptymindedgirl: Thanks! And we don’t have to be original to be entertaining!

     
  50. B\'el

    January 6, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    OMG that just made a lot of sense. i neve saw it that way. i guess goverment is a nessary evil.

     
  51. Phil Russell

    January 6, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    Phil Russell: Grimace?!? That’s Barbapappa! Honestly, some people…

    A thousand pardons for my ignorance! How could I have possible made such an ignorant, arrogant, imbecilic assumption! Please don’t report me!

     
  52. starbirdcanada

    January 6, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    yeah, the Empire brought peace to the galaxy, just like Rome brought peace. Then it was the bloody Christians messing with things, just like the rebel alliance! Don’t even get me started about the bestial relationship between Han Solo and Chewbacca!

     
  53. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    Phil Russell: I’ll let you off this time. And you’re a physicist? Cool, I also have a physics degree. Who doesn’t love statistical thermodynamics?

     
  54. parallelsidewalk

    January 6, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    You’re my new favorite Swede.

     
  55. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    parallelsidewalk: Thanks! Although you are aware that I’m not a Swede…?

     
  56. tntalk

    January 6, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    Perspective is everything, isn’t it?

     
  57. guest

    January 6, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    The Death Star looks like the AT&T logo.

     
  58. paddyK

    January 6, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    guest: And if I were an American, I might understand what the hell you were talking about.

     
  59. guest

    January 6, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    paddyk,

    AT&T is pretty much a global company. Their logo looks like the death
    star and is referred to as such.

     
  60. genesiawilliams

    January 7, 2008 at 12:11 am

    I didn’t know that starwars could be so passionately examined.. but though It is of no consequence to real life I found this article Funny…

    and where applicable a good look at life in a sort of ”ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE” kind of way..

    (It might not have been meant to be funny so I apologize if I didn’t get the total larger meaning)

     
  61. paddyK

    January 7, 2008 at 12:25 am

    genesiawilliams: Well it was indeed largely in jest (it’s only imaginary people, when it comes down to it). But my points about the media defining who we should support were serious.

    If you read some more of my blog posts you may notice that I’m not serious very often. And when I am, I tend to swear.

     
  62. genesiawilliams

    January 7, 2008 at 12:31 am

    I will most defintely read more… and you are welcome at my fledgeling blog whenever you like….

     
  63. CS

    January 7, 2008 at 1:45 am

    paddyK “But apparently it was 500 billion. Which is rather a lot for one planet–the overcrowding must have been terrible.”

    …. I hope you are being sarcastic.

    That is a lot of mothers the empire must of upset.

     
  64. david

    January 7, 2008 at 2:22 am

    Great post—very funny. There really is no such thing as truth. If we look at it from one side, logic shows the rebels to be the good guys, but flip that coin and start your logical deduction from a different point and the rebels turn out to be horrible, evil, twisted bad guys. Truth is truly a matter of perspective.

     
  65. wittybanter

    January 7, 2008 at 2:48 am

    Funny, yet wholly unoriginal.

     
  66. paddyK

    January 7, 2008 at 2:53 am

    wittybanter: Wholly unoriginal? Quite unoriginal, I grant you. But wholly? No sir, I disagree. Please address all of my points one by one and tell me why they are unoriginal. I’m waiting. Tap-tap-tap…

     
  67. thenewg

    January 7, 2008 at 2:54 am

    Phil Russell: I’ll let you off this time.

    Thank you. The world needs more Barbapappas like you.

    I think you have been one of the top posts for at least two days now; I take my hat off to you. I must say that your article does expose a lot of things we ordinarily think about concerning morality, ethics, values and beliefs, even if it draws from theater. And who is to say that the movies aren’t a reflection of our cultural/ideological perspective.

    By the way I have a post where I compare God and science; might be worth a look:

    http://cyberlog.wordpress.com/2007/12/17/science-and-religion-the-particle-and-the-wave/

     
  68. jmacintosh

    January 7, 2008 at 3:12 am

    UNLEASH THE FURY

     
  69. jeremyj5000

    January 7, 2008 at 3:21 am

    See? Movies can actually tell you things about modern culture. Indeed, part of the appeal of Star Wars was its commentary on the fundamentals of human conflict; one which seems to hold true to this day. That being said, the idea that someone can turn their side into the valiant side of a conflict and the “others”as the aggressors and the bad guys is nothing new. Up until the end, the People of Germany saw the Nazi Party as championing the cause of German ascension in the face of aggression from western powers, and we know how that turned out.

     
  70. Phil Russell

    January 7, 2008 at 3:58 am

    Perhaps there is one un-hypocritical thing about the philosophical undertones of the movie: Both sides use the Force. The implication is that the means to the end may be controversial, but that it is what the force is used for that allows us to differentiate between ‘us’ and ‘them’.

     
  71. Just Me

    January 7, 2008 at 4:11 am

    Sorry man, you can’t just say that something is just “bad”. EVERYTHING has 2 sides. USSR, naziism, Jihadism, etc. etc. all have 2 sides.

     
  72. fixedgear

    January 7, 2008 at 9:09 am

    So when the crew on the Death Star blew up an entire planet, that is OK, im sure there were alot more than a million people on that planet. If its anything like earth it would be 6 billion innocent people (that had no weapons). At least the empire had guns to defend themselves. Your argument is one sided and very ill informed

     
  73. paddyK

    January 7, 2008 at 9:43 am

    fixedgear: No the CREW didn’t blow up Alderaan, the officers did, although the order came from the Emperor. That’s the fun thing with the military chain of command – lack of personal responsibility.

    And anyway Alderann WAS armed. Check around, you’ll see.

    So who’s ill-informed now, hmmm?

     
  74. Charlie

    January 7, 2008 at 11:23 am

    Am I the only plebeian in this entire comments thread that only watches the movies for the soundtrack…?

    (Prease to not kill me)

     
  75. Kim Huff

    January 7, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    First let me say, I am a huge sci-fi fan… but come on people.. it is just a freaking movie!!

    Second, the empire started it first by killing all the Jedis and many others so what were the Rebels supposed to do? The Rebels may have killed a butt load of clones, but something had to be done.

     
  76. Glen Gordon

    January 7, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Paddy: “Phil Russell: Grimace?!? That’s Barbapappa! Honestly, some people…”

    HAhAhAhAhA, I nearly peed my pants when I read that cuz I swore your icon was Grimace too. I’m aware of Barbapappa, but only because I was a geek in school. When I look back, Barbapappa was clearly a thought-control cartoon… I mean… LOOK AT THIS SCREWY CARTOON, PEOPLE!! Clearly it was made to create obedient school children that would eventually grow up to build a Death Star.

     
  77. miller

    January 8, 2008 at 3:05 am

    i wouldn’t mind them being slightly original, as opposed to “oh i know i’ll elaborate on someone else point holy shit that’ll be genius”, i mean if i wanted to read smith’s ideas i’d read his fucking blog, not yours, and yeah i do kinda think original thought is the only reason to blog, and fuck you i know the scene well enough,

     
  78. paddyK

    January 8, 2008 at 9:41 am

    miller: Once again, for the hard-of-hearing and hard-of-thinking out there – my points are not at all the same as this Smith guy. Do I need to list them? OK then:

    1) He discusses the second death star, and I discuss the first
    2) I discuss military deaths, he discusses civilian
    3) I focus mainly on the media’s power to make us accept something as “good”. Does Smith? No.

    So Mr. miller, why don’t you send me the link to YOUR blog and we can all go in and have a look, and see how original YOU are, eh?

    And – oh! – it seems that miller knows swear words! Well done miller. Have a prize. Because of course, the person who says “fuck” first wins. Nice one.

     
  79. 029

    January 8, 2008 at 11:05 am

    Haha – great post :P and amusing and important comments. Regarding the content though: How come *some* people obviously can´t see what this article is about? (eventhough it starts out with “The power of the media is immense,..”)

    And for that Miller guy – afairc the clerks scene is about the indiependent contractors rebuilding it and not about how the audience is supposed to accept one side as totally “good” and the other “evil”.

    Oh I can be an ass too btw: Fuck you.

     
  80. James

    January 8, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    If anyone calls the Star Wars sextet Sci-Fi, I will personally eat their family.

    It is Space Opera. Nothing but a cowboy movie set in space.

    There is a big difference between science fiction films like Bladerunner, AI or 2001 and that… piece of tat called Star Wars.

    I refer all Star Wars fans to the following video

     
  81. paddyK

    January 8, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    James: What?!? Star Wars is NOT Space opera – Space Opera makes sense and Star Wars doesn’t. Some of my favourite SF books are Space Opera – it can be done well and also follow most of the laws of physics.

    Star Wars is not even a cowboy movie because they also make sense. Star Wars is a cheesy action fairy-tale that happens to be in space. With bad actors.

    And nobody preaches to ME about SF! I will out-nerd you anywhere, anytime.
    (smiley face)

     
  82. James

    January 8, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Well, as you post about Star Wars on your blog and I don’t then I cannot doubt your nerdy credentials.

    PS – My dad’s bigger than your dad. He’s from Kilkenny and can hurl. Yours can’t. Nah. Nah. N’. Nah. Nah!

     
  83. Mark

    January 8, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    great post.. i have a big ‘culture’ post in the works that i’m sure you’ll like…or not!

     
  84. Ben

    January 10, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Congratulations on your new job, Paddy (responding to posts in this thread).

     
  85. dumbshits

    March 7, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    FUCKING STUPID YOU DUMBSHIT

    EMPIRE = EVIL

    REBELS = GOOD

    if you’re too much of a pussy to fight evil, then you deserve to die with them, regardless of whether or not you chose to be on the death star at the time

    IDIOT

     
  86. dumbshits

    March 7, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    Fags like you cause the world to be a bad place, you asshole

     
  87. paddyK

    March 8, 2008 at 12:13 am

    “dumbshits “:

    Why don’t you come over here and blow me, you raging imbecile? Oh wait, that’s right – you’re an American and you don’t know where “here” is, or in fact where ANY country in the world is. Or which side your dick is on. Or where you parked your ugly fucking car. Or who your sister was doing in the pig-pen last night.

    So you seriously think you can out-insult an Irishman? Well you can’t, dumb-nuts. So you will have to live with the fact that I am smarter than you, better looking than you, more well-known that you, richer than you, and I can swear your sorry limp pansy ass under the table.

    Plus I did your sister too.

     
  88. Robert Fett

    March 9, 2008 at 11:02 am

    What I always found amazing was the fact that Darth Vader, who was an accomplice in the killing of millions of innocent citizens of Alderan, somehow is absolved of his guilt by killing the emperor at the end of episode III. In fact he earns himself a spot in the shimmering afterlife among the smiling pantheon of good departed Jedis Obi-wan and Yoda.
    Now let me get this straight- the guy is complete asshole and mass murderer killing indiscriminately for 20 some odd years, and the first good thing he does is save his son from being killed by another asshole, (something any father would do) and suddenly all is forgiven? We’re supposed to feel good now that he’s repented, and count him as redeemed and reformed? I’m sorry but Darth Vader should be shown burning in hell at the end of III, with Yoda and Obi-Wan dancing on the motherfucker’s grave.

     
  89. Alex Foster

    March 9, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    This almost makes me wish I’d seen some of the films.

     
  90. notorious N.I.G.

    March 13, 2008 at 12:02 am

    u all have no lives
    why did i click on this link

     
  91. paddyK

    March 13, 2008 at 9:45 am

    notorious N.I.G.: Well if WE have no lives then why are you wandering around the Internet and clicking on links you don’t even want to see? Loser!

     
  92. Bill

    May 1, 2008 at 12:54 am

    Do unto the empire as they would do unto you. Kill em all let god sort them out. No injustices done by blowing up the death star and however many people were on it. Who gives a shit. In the end Darth threw the emperor down the shaft and saved Luke, well he knew what he was doing, that’s why he deserved a good place on the other side with Ben and Yoda, he was as instrumental in bringing down the empire as anybody. Palpatine was obvioulsy a major piece of shit in the galaxy. What Vader did was worthy of great reward on the other side. Robert Fett, the Force isn’t stupid. It’s not going to turn down a truly repentant and valuable soul, just to be veangeful. Vader, in his life, he became a piece of shit too, like Palptine, but, in the end he acted as Jedi.

     
  93. Bill

    May 1, 2008 at 12:54 am

    Do unto the empire as they would do unto you. Kill em all let god sort them out. No injustices done by blowing up the death star and however many people were on it. Who gives a shit. In the end Darth threw the emperor down the shaft and saved Luke, well he knew what he was doing, that’s why he deserved a good place on the other side with Ben and Yoda, he was as instrumental in bringing down the empire as anybody. Palpatine was obvioulsy a major piece of shit in the galaxy. What Vader did was worthy of great reward on the other side. Robert Fett, the Force isn’t stupid. It’s not going to turn down a truly repentant and valuable soul, just to be veangeful. Vader, in his life, he became a piece of shit too, like Palptine, but, in the end he acted as a Jedi.

     
  94. JEFF

    September 2, 2008 at 1:22 am

    Its a movie it isn’t real who actually cares about those numbers, geroge lucas dosen’t care and neither do I.

     
  95. paddyK

    September 2, 2008 at 8:19 am

    Hey everybody, JEFF just discovered that it isn’t for real. It’s just a movie, apparently! Nice one, JEFF. Keep up the good work.

     
  96. Avarice

    July 13, 2009 at 2:57 am

    Your original post was definitely correct in that the Empire is not as “bad” as George wants us to think. It was the government. All of the senators cheered for the creation of the Empire in episode III, Except the ones who were plotting treason at the time anyway.

    When it comes down to it Luke was just a farm boy with special powers recruited to a terrorist organization by a hermit, he was then given a very “morally correct” mission to blow up a government installation.

    But George did a good job of hiding that underneath his “Rebels = good”, “Empire = bad” themes.

    Of course it’s unlikely anyone will ever see this.

     
  97. Sean Mulroy

    November 7, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    Good lord that was a rantathon about a kids movie wasnt it boys and girls!! Now lets all hold hands in a circle and sin:
    “I love you, you love me
    Were a happy family………..

     
    • paddyK

      November 7, 2009 at 2:14 pm

      Sean, my lad, you’re about two years too late for this party. But it was a good rant, wasn’t it?

       
  98. tkudcz@gmail.com

    December 13, 2014 at 1:22 am

    very good

     

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