Shaggy Dog Stories

Note: This blog entry was based on a true Facebook story. Names, dates and sexual preferences may have been changed to protect the innocent.

So I was walking to work. Picture it now. Wait, here’s a photo I took that will help you:


Yeah, now we got it. So just about THERE I passed a lady and her dog. The dog was doing something doggy – sniffing, peeing, quoting Marx – which the lady did not like.

So she pulled the dog closer on the leash and said:

“Tusse, I TOLD you not to do that, why don’t you ever listen to me?”

Which, since it was a dog, is probably a bit pointless.

This reminded me of a previous dog-lady anecdote (oh yes, a thin thread, I grant you). On that occasion another old lady was walking in a park, along a small path, dragging a reluctant dog behind her.

A moped was coming, quite fast, so the lady pulled the dog in and said to it sternly:

“Watch out Moppsy, there’s a moped coming!”

I just like that she felt the dog had to receive extra information as to the precise form of the imminent danger.

Of course, I can’t talk – I regularly speak to myself while working or doing stuff at home, whispering fiercely about this or that while work-mates and pets look on in deep amusement.

Oh well, at least I don’t go for a dump on the pavements. Not yet, anyway.

NOTE: Next Wednesday, October 21st, I will once again host the Four Stone Hearth Anthropology blog carnival. Please send in your links to anything vaguely relevant. That is all.

/ paddy

9 thoughts on “Shaggy Dog Stories

  1. Actually, dogs DO listen to their owner’s and big dogs can even understand approx. 100 words!

    The whole point of dog obedience is to get them to listen – and obey – you!

    Wish it would work on kids too…

  2. I have been around dogs all my life, except for student years when I ate the dog food myself and couldnt afford two tins. I have become darn good at training dogs and they are very responsive to tone, body language and general attitude. They know you are in a bad mood before you get in the door. They know you are bluffing if you are smiling and going coochie coochie coo just so you can grab em, bung em in the car and bring em to the vets to get things stuck up their bottoms.
    So the words “Tusse, I TOLD you not to do that, why don’t you ever listen to me?” wasnt understood verbatim but the dog would have grasped that the pack leader was unhappy with what he had just done.’
    Saying “Tusse blah blah rhubarb whoop-de-doooo blah blah” whould have had the same effect but would have sounded a bit psycho!!!!

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