Metro Sweden, that gushing fountain of shite news, published a story on Tuesday (warning: PDF link!) concerning two ladies and their adventures at a sushi buffet.

The ladies can be seen here looking all “sad for the photo” and expecting us to feel sorry for them. Here’s why:

They entered a sushi buffet at lunchtime. They took sushi but proceeded to poke out the rice, which then was wasted, and eat only the fish.

This meant they went through much more sushi than a normal person would, leaving a pile of unusable rice behind them.

When the staff pointed out to the ladies that they would have to order something more expensive (sashimi) if they only wanted fish, they became all stroppy and refused. And the staff asked them to leave. Which they did. Only to contact a newspaper and pose for the above “we are victims oh pity us” photo.

Now, if these ladies are looking for sympathy, they have come to the wrong blog. The restaurant, if you ask me, was completely right to throw out their moany arses. People seem to believe that they can behave however they want, anywhere, or demand whatever they like, and it’s ok.

But listen ladies, if you want the fish, then pay for the fucking fish, or else get the hell out. The owner and the staff decides. Your power in this is simply not to go back, and tell your friends not to do so either. And not just run to the newspapers like somebody just stole your fucking lollipop.

In their defence the ladies explain that they are “on a special diet”, which means basically, they don’t like rice, or refuse to eat it for magical reasons. Which helps their case not at all.

And the restaurant involved? Where the ladies who couldn’t eat rice went for lunch?  It was called Rice. Irony doesn’t begin to cover it. Stupidity and arrogance probably does.

People, I must once again conclude, are sometimes as thick as shit.

/ paddy

28 thoughts on “Rice

  1. As further evidence that these ladies are (to use the American phrase) fuckheads, I present you with the fact that they eat sushi. At all. Now, I happen to love Japan and its culture, with the offensive raw fish being the Big Exception. Being half-Greek myself, and thus quite konwledgeable about various kinds of fish and in what state they are to be eaten, I never eat fish either alive or dead but raw.

    No, I will not apologize to any sushi-lovers among the readers of this blog.

    I will just conclude that for some reason you too eat raw fish.


    You barbarians, you.

    I’m amazed.

    Drive a hard,

    P.S. Ok, ok, I know that the fish is not always raw, but most often it is. Really. D.S.

    • I was sceptical of sushi for years but now I love it. It’s the only lunch/dinner that doesn’t make me bloated and full.

      And Bellis, come on: You can hold NO opinion on a food until you have tried it properly. You strike me as a logical sceptical person, surely you would agree? Try it, properly, and then discuss it. Go on now, get to it!

      • Oh, since the opinion expressed is serious but the tone joking, maybe I didn’t express myself clearly enough.

        I have tried it, of course. Sushi, I mean. And I’ve also tried the Swedish surströmmning, which is actually raw, *rotten* fish… totally bizarre doesn’t even begin to cover it…

        So no, I don’t like sushi. Or surströmming.

        On the other hand, I really do like something the mere thought of which will probably upset every stomach in this neighbourhood.

        Big Mac.

        All the best,

  2. Uhm, go to the newspapers because YOU fucked up? Yeah, that’ll give you the sympathy of the swedish people.
    And yeah, there WAS an alternative without rice, so use that if you can’t EAT RICE! Gosh.


  3. Stories about people abusing all-you-can-eat buffets seem to crop up rather often. As you say, it’s fuckheads screwing up an (arguably) good thing for the rest of us.

    • Luckily I hate buffets anyway. I really don’t see “all you can eat” as a good thing. And I can do without all the fat people too.

  4. Bellis said: And I’ve also tried the Swedish surströmmning, which is actually raw, *rotten* fish… totally bizarre doesn’t even begin to cover it…

    No, it’s *not*!!!

    Surströmming is a traditional norlander treat in Sweden. I’m a norlander born and bred, and I’m here today to testify to you that norlandish surströmming is *fermented*, not rotten. It’s perfectly edible. And it’s not raw. Greeks have Retsina, which is fermented, retsinated grapes, and that’s fully drinkable. I know, I tried it myself. (I’m the kind of guy who’ll try even Retsina once… :-) So why shouldn’t norlanders have fully edible surströmming, which is fermented fish? A very extra special treat is vintage surströmming. That has fermented so much that the tin cans look more or less like footballs. I have fond memories from my childhood in Norrland, when my father took what little surplus tin cans we couldn’t eat and stood them up at a hundred yards and used them as target practice. (My father is a great moose hunter.) Hit one of those tin cans and there wasn’t much left. We never had any complaints from our neighbours.

    • *urgh* I forgot the “cheers” again. But what the heck, it *is* upsetting when some bloody Swede (if honorary) talks about “rotten” surströmming… :-)


      • If it tastes rotten, it’s actually not that important to me which process that they used to achieve the result. But this is digressing from the topic at hand.

    • Anyone who finds retsina drinkable must be blind drunk and thus even able to stomach surströmming.

      Now I understand.


      Good luck at the emergency ward, Rolf!

      All the best,
      (who drinks ouzo)

  5. @jophan: It doesn’t taste rotten. What some people have a problem with, is that it *smells* rotten to unexperienced people. But I agree that we are very close to being off topic. :-)


    • I maintain that there is something fundamentally wrong with foods that require you to get over a huge obstacle of ICK before you can learn to like them. Such as the smell of fermented herring or the look of pölsa. If you can’t make food look and smell appetizing, don’t bother.

      And if we’re off topic, I’m sure Paddy will mete out just punishments if necessary. On that note I would like to point out that THEY STARTED IT!

      • Oh, it’s the rice and fall of the roman empire all over again. :-)

        *Any* food can be considered icky food. Some people refuse to eat vegetables, other refuse to eat meat. Some refuse to eat the tinned larva (very protein containing) on sale in Africa. It is a local cultural thing.

        So (on topic) to me, rice, surströmming and tinned larva are all foodstuffs that some restaurant visitors will gripe about, and others love.

        And I’m sure Paddy will administer just punishment to me for my comments. :-)


  6. @Rolf: Sorry but no, this is not local/cultural. We are hardwired to find some smells repulsive, such as those associated with feces and decay, because eating feces and decaying organisms usually leads to you being sick. It’s an evolved defense mechanism. Fermentation is associated with decay, hence why we find the smell awful. That some cultures occasionally manage to circumvent these instincts doesn’t make them less real, and it’s certainly not comparable to some people’s choice not to eat vegetables or meat.

    • I am not trying to contradict you now, but I would like to say that perhaps it’s a bit more complicated. When I mentioned meat I was actually thinking of people who find the smell and taste of meat so repulsive that they even puke. And they say it’s because meat is bad for you. Some of them even consider themselves hardwired to react that way. So are they hardwired to puke from meat? Are we others hardwired to puke from rotten smells or feces? I don’t know, but my serious guess is that they and we are not.


  7. What silly cows those two women are…they don’tget any sympathy from me, either! Btw, Paddy. I’m coming to Stockholm this coming Thursday. Don’t forget to email me your mobile number, so I can text you when I get to Central station. I can’t really agree a point and time to meet before I come, as I havent got a clue what is outside central station, or the exact time I will get there. Your waffles are but a few days away!! :-D Cheers, Julie.

  8. Paddy, please forgive me for being totally off topic, but I’m getting slightly desperate here. You might erase this comment and, if you prefer, answer directly to my email (which you do see, don’t you?).

    Anyhow, I’m in the final throes of finalizing a translation of a book by Stephen King, and there are two things I don’t quite understand. Now, these are American expressions, not Irish or English, so they might be foreign to you too. As we all know, Americans speak another kind of … well, American. Not proper English, really. (Any Americans reading this, rest assured that I absolutely love Manhattan – the metropolis of the world!)

    Ok, here goes:

    What exactly does it mean to put an egg in one’s shoe? This slang expression is used in connection with a father abandoning his family.

    And, if you hit somebody with a stick, you are supposed to choke up on it in order to maximize the force. Choke up on the stick? What?

    Once again, my sincere apologies for polluting your blog with this! Please erase it should you want to. But you see, the deadline is not approaching – it swished past my ears with a whistling sound several days ago…

    Thank you!

    All the best,

    • Randomly still seeing updates from this post in my email…

      Put an egg in one’s shoe… and beat it. Whee, wordplay.

      I don’t know what the other one is about.

      • Bellis: I have no clue, I’m afraid. King is far too American for me to understand. And I missed the comment until today. If you still need help with this, I can ask some American friends.

    • “Choke up on the stick” is a sports term. Just look for “choke up” on Dictionary.com and check result no 7. The egg in shoe thing, Candice was right about, and you can find it in urbandictionary.com.

  9. Thank you for your help, Candice and Felicia! And Paddy, thank you for being so patient!

    And I know what you mean, mate. I’m neither Irish nor English, but I have no problem discerning the vast differences between – *cough* – proper English and – *cough* – American, hm, English. Not to insult any American friends reading this blog, but really, your English is just a tad weird. At least for us Europeans.

    All the best,

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